“Real”: True and actual, not imaginary, alleged or ideal.

I have to look back to that time in life where I have discovered that I do not like “fake”. Whether it is in something tangible like my food or more importantly my friendships, I plain do not like fake. As an example, once I tasted pure vanilla extract versus the imitation product I had to ask myself “why would anyone want the fake stuff when the ‘real’ deal is a taste this side of Heaven?” To top it off, a dear friend of mine shared with me her version for creating pure vanilla extract and since making a batch or two I would never return to using anything but the ‘real deal’. This same concept has been pouring into other areas of my life as well and that would have to do with my friendships.

Just as I desire and actually crave ‘real’ food, I have hungered for ‘real’ friendships, especially in the last 10 to 15 years. When I look back over that time period, I can see that these years held some very significant events in my life. We lost both mothers, said goodbye to some cherished uncles, and endured the joys and pains of children navigating through their teenage years on into their own young adulthood, which have included its own share of great joy and hurt. Most recently, in 2012 we said goodbye to my beloved father.

During all of these various events I needed and found ‘real’ friends, those who didn’t give trite counsel or held a judgement in their hearts when our kids floundered with life decisions. No, instead, what we most often received was genuine concern, a word of encouragement, a hug or the gift of silence, the kind of silence that let us know we were loved and furthermore, understood. We received a good ‘real’.

I also am aware that I need to be a ‘real’ friend to those who have allowed me into their lives as well. A self confession is the inability to be this kind of friend 100% of the time but not always achieving perfection does not deter me from my goal. Quite the contrary. When I realize I have failed, I encourage myself to take a step back, self evaluate and refocus on the importance of being sincere, genuine, honest, and reliable without compromising my values or character.

So, do I have this huge circle of friends? Actually, the answer to that question is ‘no’. But, oh, do I have a TIGHT circle of friends who have emerged from the pages of my life. I have the kind of friends that physical distance holds no power and close-by friends who bring joy, laughter, and a sense of completeness. Even the kind of friends who don’t find it awkward when an amount of time elapses between conversations and pick right up where we left off over the LAST cup of coffee.

In this brief attempt to share from this aspect of who I am, I would be remiss not to mention my ‘real’ true friend. His name is Jesus and He is real. He is the Alpha and Omega of the created and of my life. It is He Who has taught me what “real’ is and how ‘real’ should look in my character. When I do things correctly He cheers and spurs me onto greater and better
achievements. When I falter and even fail, He is gentle yet truthful bringing me necessary conviction and correction. How does He do this? Through the written Word and most importantly, through my ‘real’ friends.

Do you desire more ‘real’? I hope so. When you discover the benefits of ‘real’ you will, hopefully, never settle for less. And if you want to know how to create pure vanilla it’s this simple: Purchase a pint of vodka, add 3 to 4 vanilla beans that have been slightly opened with a paring knife. Store the bottle in a cool, dark place and let ‘ferment’ for three months. Get out your recipes and enjoy!