I have what we jokingly refer to in my household as “label issues”. At least once a month I am guilty of not properly reading the label on a grocery item or two and I bring home an incorrect product.Yet, we are always able to use my oops purchases  in spite of my misguided intentions. I try to be careful, I really do! It’s just that when I’m shopping I don’t like the hassle of putting my reading glasses on and off as I cruise the aisles while I checkoff items on my list.

Recently a current “project” has been the painting of several rooms, all being accomplished by my husband. The living room is the last of his intended ‘putting on a fresh coat of paint or two’ which has left me the task of cleaning the drapery that adorns our window in that room. Now mind you, I paid a hefty price for those draperies and the complimentary sash that makes our window look very classy so you can bet I made sure to read the labels that are sewn into the crevices of their beauty. I didn’t want the nightmare of wrinkles, shrinkage, you-name-your-own terrible outcome! No sir, I got out my reading glasses for that chore of laundering and proper drying.  So, after exercising that bit of wisdom on my part our beautiful set of drapes are now line drying, patiently waiting for paint to dry and be rehung. i

Have you noticed that everything we purchase comes with a label? Labels are important. They give instructions. They tell us the content of a garment or the ingredients in a can of food or a  household cleaner. There’s only one thing that I can think of that doesn’t come with a label and that’s a newborn baby. We welcome our newborn into the world and it’s up to as parents to “name” the child. Greater than choosing a name for our precious gift is the responsibility to train this innocent, unbiased, unconditional lover into a person that the world will receive with respect, love, acceptance…well the list goes on doesn’t it?

But how often in the midst of our well intentions do we as mere human beings get off track and begin to react to the behavior and antics of our child and begin to ‘label’? You know what I mean. We begin using descriptive words such as “you’re lazy”, “you’re so slow”, “if only you could be like (fill in the blank)”, “you’ll never amount to much”. Unfortunately this is an exhaustive list.

This past week someone I respect very much coined this phrase: “Refuse to be defined by others”. I have made serious note of those six words. Those few words brought back a flood of memories growing up, raising my own two children, and now my daily choice of words  in every relationship that is dear to me. I want my words to encourage, not tear down. I want my words to build up, not destroy. I want my words to express love, not judgement. I want my words to convey truth, not a crafty lie to smooth over delicate circumstances.

While I joke and struggle with minor label issues, I grieve deeply when I hear some of the labels coming from the lips of those in media, national leadership, education, business, the family–just a few major categories where words are vital to the health of a person and a society. Why, I wonder, have we evolved to the level of name calling, blame shifting, speaking filth or spew insults with as much ease as it takes to spit out a watermelon seed? Furthermore, as hurtful are the ones speaking with such disdain, is the pain of many individuals allowing it to proliferate.

On Monday evening I heard a very profound statement: “I am a black man, I am not an African American. Call me an American”. I also heard: “I am a man, call me that”. Why have we labeled people on the color of their skin or their country of origin? Is it really necessary? When I tell my friends about another friend, am I required to include color of skin, hair, eyes, or how tall they are? No!

One of my favorite verses in the Bible tells me that my tongue “holds blessings and curses” which interprets that if not careful I may ‘label’ someone that doesn’t deserve the stupidity of my thought processes. Oh that everyone who truly wants our world to be a kinder and more gentle dwelling place would heed this command. Think how that could bring about good change!

Unfortunately, I cannot give ample space to express the deepest thoughts I have on this subject. Perhaps that’s a series of writings for another day. And, it isn’t my intention to get so serious that I can’t find humor in this struggle of mine. Let me leave you with a couple of labels that our children wore for awhile and how they were innocent words from childhood that followed them as they grew into their teens and beyond.

When Sarah was about 8 she began giving stuff away to friends when they came to our home. Very soon one of the little boys from our church who had been a recipient of her generousity started calling her “Sarah the Giver”. Indeed, as years passed she often exhibited a ‘giving’ spirit and remains true to that description today.

When Dan was a toddler his babysitter gave him the nickname “Mr. Fingers” because he was curious, often  stretching to grab something out of his reach. In high school he played football, was a wide receiver who needed to “grab” hold of the football when it passed to him during a key play. Today he is a successful college student, grasping the knowledge from textbooks and the structure of a work day.

Lest I end on a negative not I must state that not all labels are bad. Remember, warning labels do serve a vital purpose. But, also remember, our precious babies don’t come with a label. If they did here’s what I’d like to imagine the description to read.  “Warning: One Size Does Not Fit All. Precious gift from God. Do not Drop. Do not Speak Harshly.  Love,  Feed, Water, Clothe, Nurture, Encourage,  Train According to Bible. Allow to Explore. Allow to Fail. Celebrate Success. IMPORTANT: Unreturnable.