Happy birthday? Yes. Happy Birthday to our daughter Sarah who celebrates her arrival on the scene September 29. (I will leave out her age in deference to allowing her to disclose that information).

Upon returning from my afternoon walk today, and as I sat down for a cool down and cold glass of water, I began to think “what shall I write about this week?” It’s not my intention to bore myself or my readers with drivel; I want my posts to be enjoyable, encouraging, offer an occasional chuckle or pause to ponder. It occurred to me that the end of September is just around the corner and with that comes Sarah’s birthday.

We love our daughter. She is our elder of two children. We waited awhile to have her after battling some infertility issues. Not everyone knows about that struggle. Fortunately for us, our depth of struggle pales in comparison to family members and friends whose experiences are quite different. Yet in consideration of all of that, God saw fit to gift us with Sarah at 3:40 pm on Sept. 29. She arrived on her due date. She was the first grandchild for Jim’s parents and was another granddaughter for my own. As all moms believe, I thought she was the most beautiful of all babies and was delighted that she was a most easy-going child who began sleeping through the night at age 7 weeks, did not cry or fuss a lot, and adapted readily to new situations. It’s hard to believe the number of years that those memories are from.

If you’ll bear with me, I’d like to write a love letter to my daughter. I do so not only to brag a little, but to encourage all mothers of daughters regardless of their age. So….

Dear Sarah:

As your mother I could not be more proud or ecstatic than I already am. From the time we knew a child was being expected, we wanted you. In fact, we yearned a long time for you. We prayed for you to come to us and God granted an answer to that prayer.
On Sept. 29 at 3:40 pm the doctor placed you in my arms. Thank you for not putting your momma through a horrific labor! After about 8 hours of labor you made your appearance and won the hearts of everyone immediately. It didn’t take us long to completely fall in love with you and we still enjoy hearing Grandpa Kretchman tell of how ‘two grammas were chomping at the bit to get behind the glass and hold you” while visiting us in the hospital. You were an incredibly easy baby to care for and transitioned into toddlerhood with great ease…..walked into elementary school with some fear…..and continued embracing changes with a degree of confidence spurred on by a small measure of encouragement from us when needed. No amount of space here could contain all the joyful memories we have of you thus far but I’d like to list a few which are in no particular order:

1. You belonged to Gramma Jewell on Thursday nights when dad and I attended church choir practice. Gramma could triple diaper you, a feat I never achieved
2. You were Uncle Jo-Jo’s niece who went everywhere with him, Bubba & Stash. Don’t think you knew their real names for a long time!
3. You surprised us all when we found out you were actually shy when you began kindergarten; you wouldn’t tell your principal your name
4. You were the hit with all the older folks at church, “Little Sarah” they called you.
5. Your ‘chattiness’ in 1st grade allowed your teacher to see this as a strength and she sat you next to a little boy who needed ‘some social skills’
6. You made friends quickly and by 6th grade you met Keri, became fast friends, and to this day she has never left your side; she has your back
7. When you were about age 8 you got a nickname “Sarah the Giver”. You’ve grown into that very nicely. On numerous occasions you have shared with me how you’ve been able to bless others because of God’s provision to you. You have even traveled to Honduras 3 times on mission projects–something I’m not sure I am capable of doing myself.
8. You are loyal to your brother (plus everyone in the family) to a level of description that words really can’t describe.
9. You’re funny–you have a way of saying things that blow me away with laughter.
10. You’re empathetic–you quickly identify with someone’s pain. You dislike mistreatment of others.
11. You enjoy learning, especially about God. You aren’t afraid to question and you don’t back down from a good debate. You know what you believe. You possess great discernment.
12. You are a wonderful prayer warrior.
13. You are a survivor. You’ve been hurt and you’ve hurt. But, we’ve seen you take ownership of what belongs to you and witnessed how you released the burdens to God’s care.
14. Your inner beauty far outweighs the outer beauty that you possess, a beauty that was fashioned by Christ and it has and still remains pure joy to see you grow, walk, and operate in that relationship with Him
15. You are loyal, you are a fabulous daughter, sister, granddaughter, cousin, niece, friend and now you’re a happy fiance to a great young man. It’s sweet to hear about your plans and the progress reports along the way.

So, happy birthday Sarah. When we celebrated your first birthday you cried when all the family gathered around you and your cake, singing. You don’t do that anymore. Now you can’t wait for birthdays and Christmas or “just because presents” because you enjoy receiving a gift as much as giving one. Our gift to you this year will be the same as always, promises to always love you unconditionally, support and encourage your dreams, listen attentively when it’s been a rough day, and continue to navigate through the coming years as you continue to grow into who God has created you to be. We will forever remain your greatest cheerleaders!
Much love–Da Momma & Da Daddy

There, I said it. I typed it –I admit that I am a “people pleaser”. Even though this soon-to-be 60 year old woman likes to believe she’s made huge strides in this area of her character, there is a remnant of worry which I like to call “What if everyone doesn’t like me or what I say or do?” So, what if?…..

Before I elaborate on that question I will tell you that I HAVE made a vast improvement in the realm of wanting or believing that I had to have approval from everyone whether it was in various work settings, church, community service, relationships, and at home. I’ve been part of Bible studies, prayer groups, women’s retreats and major conferences so hearing and absorbing “knowledge” has not been lacking–what was and continues to be a shortcoming for me is “application”. There’s a verse in the Book of James that says “do not merely hear the Word, but be doers of the Word” (my paraphrase).

I’m not sure when and where people pleasing became a garment that I was so willing to take out of my personality closet and wear with gusto. An examination of my childhood reveals memories of wanting my parents to be pleased with me for reasons other than I was their third child and fulfilled their dreams of having a daughter. Was that enough for them? Was it enough for me? I wasn’t really good at any particular ‘thing’ as a child. I was accustomed to hearing that I was ‘cute’ but not ‘pretty’ (unless it was dad doing the talking) I was smaller than most of the kids in my classes even through high school. I donned much needed glasses by 5th grade thus gaining a new garment–“four eyes”. I had and still do bear a tooth that didn’t quite fit into the top front row of my teeth–thus another term “buck tooth” echoes in my mind. How does admitting this small fraction of childhood fit with being a “people pleaser”? I developed using humor as a shield. If I could make other people laugh my sense of safety and feeling accepted scored points on the board of “I’m Okay, They Like Me” game.

Another aspect of being a people pleaser is developing the inability to say “No”. Oh, the anguish of feeling pressured to make sure I didn’t hurt anyone’s feelings by not obliging to a request even when doing so meant I was stretching my valuable time. Partnered with this “can’t say no” is taking on an attitude of “If I don’t do it, who will?” I fell into that trap when my kids were in high school. At one point it took a trusted friend to sit down with me and discuss/reveal to me that I had 7 plates spinning in the air (remember those kind of jugglers featured on a variety show?) Picture those plates nestled on top of their flexible poles, begin the spinning one by one until all are rotating in unison and you have a pretty good idea of how my chaotic schedule was from week to week for several years. That meeting taught me the most valuable lesson I had in life at that point in the time–the ability to say “no”….permission to say “no”.

Fast forward from the meeting with my friend to the present. I’ve already admitted my struggle and have shared my sense of victory in fear of living as a “people pleaser”. Lest I think I have failed, I have not. On the contrary, during my years of struggle I found a well known and popular verse in the Bible that says “seek first the Kingdom of God and all else will be added to you” (again, my paraphrase) That verse, joined with other teachings from the Word over the years have given me the freedom and the release I needed. I exchanged being a “people pleaser” for becoming a “God pleaser”. I already have His unconditional love because that’s His character. I have His acceptance as a daughter because I chose to put my trust in His Son, Jesus Christ. So, if I do NOTHING else in life, I’m OKAY. But, I don’t want to live a “nothing” life. No, I am choosing to live a “somethings” life….somethings matter,,,,,,,somethings don’t!

“Seek to please Me above else….” this was the opening sentence in today’s devotional. Thank you, Lord, I needed that reminder and affirmation that I’m not created to make everyone around me happy. I’m not here to make sure things around me happen. I’m not here to live under falsehood and lies.

My closet has been cleaned. The “people pleasing” garment has been removed and destroyed. The clothing given to me that bore hurtful nicknames has been long gone as well. Another exchange took place. My closet is now full of “righteousness” clothing. I’ve got quite the wardrobe and it was totally free. Well, free for me but paid for by an incredibly enormous price by my Abba Daddy. His Son, Jesus Christ, gave His life sacrificially in order that I might share in His sufferings but above all, walk in His Victory.

So, what if someone doesn’t like me? I’m okay with that. What if someone is offended by something I may say? I’m okay with that. What if I say “no” to a friend and they are caught off guard? I’m okay with that. What if that old “people pleasing” spirit keeps trying to become reacquainted with me? I’m not okay with that. What if?…..still working on eliminating that question from time to time and rejoicing that the scoreboard that reflects my progress is looking better and better in my favor.

Age: the length of time during which a being or thing has existed.

“Well, I’m at that age…..” How many times has that phrase been part of a conversation you’ve had recently or ever for that matter? What exactly is age. In order to help establish it in my own mind as I sit down to write today I first went to Google search and typed in ‘definition of age’ and the above short phrase was the majority answer. What I did not do is choose to explore Google Images with the word “age” to see what photos are associated with it; I think that would be an interesting search. I’ll save that for another day.

Even though we are still in the month of September I’m looking ahead to November when I exchange one decade of birthday celebrations for another–I will turn 60. When I do so another popular phrase will echo in my mind and I’m certain from at least one friend…”where has the time gone?” Indeed, where has the time gone and yet of more significance to me is “what am I doing WITH my time and WHAT have I accomplished in my 60 years? Completing a descriptive answer to those questions would require more space than I allow myself but I would like to give a list of my ‘accomplishments’ thus far:

1. Became a delight to my parents who after two sons received a daughter on Nov. 5, 1953. Dad had served in WWII and the Korean Conflict so I am most certain my mother was grateful to have her husband return home.
2. Graduated high school in 1971 and business school in 1972 and secured a full time position with a local bank (which is now Chase Bank)
3. Married in 1974….divorced in 1979…..remarried in 1980 and soon to celebrate 33 years with Jim.
4. Birthed our daughter Sarah at age 29, welcomed Daniel at age 34
5. Moved to Fowlerville in 1989, leaving our families in Saginaw where we both were born and thought would remain
6. Served two terms on Board of Education for Fowlerville Schools
7. Said goodbye to my mother-in-law in 1995, my own mother in 1999 and my father in 2012
8. Worked 10 years for our community newspaper
9. Served in various roles at our local church and currently enjoy the privilege of teaching women from the Word of God
10. Have received training/teaching through Victorious Ministry Through Christ, a healing ministry
11. Have enjoyed three visits in the last 6 years to California where I have lifelong friends
12. Have a restored friendship with a “bestie” whom we have spent summers along the shore of Lake Huron and her home in Illinois
13. Rid ourselves of consumer debt except for the mortgage on our home
14. Experienced 3 laps in a Nascar vehicle on the track in Brooklyn, Michigan
15. Attempted a snowboard at the age of 40+……
16. Ran my first 5k (I did walk a lot of it) on July 13, 2013
17. Ran my 2nd 5k (I walked about 1/4 of it) on Sept. 7, 2013
18. Became a Mentor Mom in the MOPs ministry in 2012
19. Sang my first solo at age 19
20. Read my Aunt Esther’s book in 2012–she published this book at age 88

Number 20 is the heart of my heart today as I ponder “what is age”. My Aunt Esther is a retired school teacher. She is also a widow and she thrives on staying alert and purposeful. The fact she wrote her book is cause enough for a loud cheer, yet what encourages me is her approach to life. She is one of my dad’s sisters and although she will make an occasional joke about ‘being a little bit old, or a little bit hard of hearing’ her main focus is on the ‘now’. Will I write a book? I don’t know, but I am writing a weekly blog. I’ve written human interest articles in past years for our newspaper. I don’t know where my love for writing will take me. I’m focusing on my own ‘now’.

I’ve decided that my ‘now’ looks like a woman who is very happy to be back home full time after working for the last 10 years. I’m really enjoying the quality time I have to be outside exercising or showing up at my trainer’s gym for my twice a week workout. I’ve had time this summer to be a bum and I’ve had ample time to read one of the many books that have been waiting for their pages to be devoured. My decision to return home has also opened up my calendar to be available to spend precious time with our adult children, deposits into my emotional tank that may have been lost if not for the choice I made in May 2013.

To those that would say to me “you’re old” my response is “No, no I’m not old. Age is a number.” Furthermore, it’s also not a ‘dirty’ word (my opinion) and honestly I believe has become so because of ‘fear. If you ask me what adjectives I would connect to age this would be my brief list: wisdom…..knowledge…..experience……change…..anticipation…….maturity.

If it weren’t for my older aunts I would have no one to call on when I need Biblical Wisdom. If it weren’t for Knowledge I would not have had my mother-in-law to help further my sewing skills. If it weren’t for Experience I wouldn’t have had a good friend Janet to encourage me about living in hard financial times. If it weren’t for Change I wouldn’t have Grandpa Jewell’s testimony of accepting Christ when he was 55. If it weren’t Anticipation I wouldn’t have our family history of mother’s parents coming to America in 1910 and 1913.

Finally, if it weren’t for Maturity I’d probably say a lot more stupid things than I already do at times, out loud or on Facebook. I turn 60 this year. Don’t send me a black card. Don’t give me silly gifts of over-the-counter meds associated with growing older. Instead, give yourself the gift of ‘life’ and ‘living young’. Give yourself time to discover and focus on your own ‘now’ and if you need some laughter, or some wisdom, or some encouragement come see me. Call first in case I’m out and about ‘living in the now’.

Labor Day 2013 has come and gone and with it the start of another school year is the current “buzz topic” around our communities. It’s been awhile since I’ve had the privilege of chiming in with other moms either lamenting or cheering the fact that my own kids would return to school, leaving me to either cherish or grieve the silence of our home. My home is quiet with the absence of my now young adult children. Our oldest, a daughter, lives a short distance from us and is currently very well established in a career holding down a management position. Our son lives a bit further away and attends Eastern Michigan University and works part-time. He is scheduled to graduate in June 2014. Sarah is also enrolled in one course at Lansing Community College. So, although my house is “quiet” and they are no longer in public education, they are both wrapped up in the school year routine.

When the kids were home and life centered around their schooling for those nine months from grades K through 12 our family pretty much planned our lives based on that calendar. As they got older and more involved with sports our schedules got even tighter and some weeks down-right hectic. Until one or both could drive the wheels on our van never seemed to stop turning. Running from practice to practice or a quick drive through for a bite to eat was a common thread as we tried to maintain who needed to be where at what time. You know what I mean. It was a God send when we connected with another family or two (or three) to help share in the transportation.

It’s only Sept. 3 and yet I’ve heard several people say “well, summer’s over”. I have to laugh because when our kids hit high school we pretty much figured our summer ended mid August when they began practice for fall sports. Now that those years are far behind me, I like to think that summer isn’t over until it’s over….and how will that look? Do I have to go by the official calendar date that marks the end of summer? Can I go by the outside temps and the ability to still wear sandals and shorts? Or enjoy the gentle breezes through open windows rather than closing everything to turn on air conditioning?

As much as I want or would enjoy having summer extend past August there’s just something about September. Even though the days are still warm and sunny (allowing one to wear sandals and shorts) there’s a different feel and smell to the air. A walk around my yard reveals evidence of plants slowly dying from their full vibrancy getting ready to go dormant for another winter. Taking a deep breath brings aromas that aren’t here in June or July….the smell of cooler air, the changing of the leaves, the dryness of the yard….fall definitely has its own “smell” and no amount of lamenting or cheering can change that fact.

After 10 years this is my first full summer being home. When I came home full-time in early May I thought “wow….I’ve got the whole summer to do what I want and when I want”….amazing now that I look back that I didn’t accomplish quite everything on my ‘summer dream list’. But that’s okay because now I’m easing into the arms of fall and actually looking forward to winter. With each season I gain a new sense of excitement as the natural changes of nature occur. I get bored easily and for that reason the change of seasons help to keep me anticipating and expecting new experiences and opportunities personally and within my family.

Summer 2013 has many memories recorded in my “treasure bank”, many of which I will pull to the front of my mind later this fall and into the long days of the coming winter. When I bring up a “treasured memory” hopefully it be over a glass of fresh apple cider or a mug of hot chocolate when the first snowfall creates a blanket covering the remnants of all that was fall. In the meantime, I will continue to enjoy each day, revel in any ability to continue wearing sandals and shorts and embrace what each day has to offer while anticipating my first deposit to my Fall 2013 “treasure bank”.