John 6: 12-13 …”Gather the pieces that are left over. Let nothing be wasted.”

Have you ever become ‘undone’ or ‘fell in a heap’? Can you count the number of times when you have felt as though your entire life has crumbled before your very eyes and hope for reconstruction is far from your concept of reality? Or, maybe you feel trapped in circumstances spinning out of control and a plan to escape defies the odds of being able to do so without causing a lot of anguish, pain, hurt, and an uncertain future.

I’d like to tell you a story. It’s a story about a young woman who had dreams to be a writer, an author of great books that many would enjoy. Upon entering business school after graduating from high school, she though her love for writing would land her a position in an advertising firm where her persuasive words and light heartedness for life would entice people to be lured towards whatever it was she was ‘promoting’. She also wanted to be different than her mother; she wanted more than being wife, mother, homemaker–she wanted ‘things’, she was in pursuit of material wealth and set her sights on how to achieve that goal. She surmised that in order to have more than her parents had, she’d have to find someone who could help her obtain a life of comfort and wealth. She met a promising young man in high school who had dreams and goals of his own to be successful and wealthy, a perfect match for such a time in their lives. They married, settled into the final stretch of his college education and began the journey towards success. It wasn’t long before trouble entered through the door of their home and strife became a welcomed guest at the table of their dreams. The young woman began to question her decisions in life and retreated to a place of isolation and despair. Dreams were becoming a faint memory and self confidence was replaced with feelings of unworthiness and being unloved. All that she had known as solid truth was replaced by lies, anger, and deep disappointments. Wealth was being obtained, but it came with a price–there was no frivolous fun, no exciting adventures to places unseen, no meaningful relationships outside of family. God, who had been an important part of the young woman’s life until these difficult years, was ignored–until the young woman ‘came undone’ , closed the door in the face of despair and opened the looming door called ‘fresh start’. 

She found herself at the altar of God, not literally, but spiritually. Four long years had divided her attention and focus on God, but she soon realized that He had never forgotten her and nothing she had chosen during those years was a surprise to Him or a hindrance from HIs ability to forgive, renew, restore, and encourage her to begin making choices and decisions with Him at the center. When she came to Him, she was broken, deeply saddened, emotionally wounded, ashamed, rejected, lonely, afraid…..she brought these seven ‘things’ to Him and He gave thanks and broke them from her and off her….and  then He gathered up the pieces and put them in His basket labeled “Future Purpose”.

As the young woman reveled in her restored relationship with God, He gave her a new life, new dreams, new joy, new purpose, and many opportunities to love Him and serve others. Earthly love came again, this time with someone who shared similar dreams, who was kind, endearing, loyal, funny, determined, and made her feel like a princess. God was at the center of their lives and throughout the hardships has remained where He belongs in their hearts and minds. The brokenness of the young woman’s past  was far removed as a stinging weapon meant to heap guilt or shame. The healing balm of God’s love has been applied to those broken pieces, now being used to minister healing to others who find themselves ‘undone’ and in their ‘own pile’. She has permission and commanded purpose to freely reach into the “Future Purpose” basket grabbing hold of a “healed piece from her past”  in order to minister the same restorative power to others. She does so with humility and drivenness to see captives set free, to bind up the brokenhearted, to set right what Satan has distorted. 

The young woman isn’t quite so young anymore. She’s beyond her middle years, entering a new season tipping the edge of golden years. Some of her childhood dreams still flood her mind. Writing has become a reality although the subject matter has changed. She’s had to admit that she did want to be like her mother–wife, mom, homemaker. She has obtained wealth by tapping into the “riches and glory of God”. She is no longer ‘undone’ or a ‘piled heap’ in a corner of despair and loneliness. She can be seen holding her “Future Basket” in one hand and in the other God’s promise not to waste any of her past hurts or mistakes. The ashes of her selfish and broken earlier years have been made beautiful in God’s sight and she’d like to believe have become key ingredients each time He prepares and mixes a new batch of ‘healing balm’ as He waits to minister redemption to another prodigal.

I was that prodigal. Hello, my name is Susan, and I’m a grateful believer in Jesus Christ.

Ash Wednesday holds great significance for me.  I came Home.   I had been distant from God for four years, yet in His tender mercy He kept wooing me.  I got pretty good at ignoring Him but He was diligent in pursuing me.  After the running was over and my life in shambles I connected with Him for the first real time on Ash Wednesday 1979.   I was a sinner in need of a Saviour; I was a broken woman in need of a healer.  I found both during that unforgettable return to church.   

My marriage of four years was over and although my part in the failure is acknowledged there lay within me a lot of woundedness and shame that God would take years to heal, using  many good teachers of the Word to facilitate the healing. He was faithful and gentle, yet relentless showing me when and how to truly accept the changes he was making in me. He did this by creating a hunger and thirst to know Him. Overnight I had a deep desire to listen to Christian radio and qualified ministers.  I felt like I was going crazy because all I could think about was Jesus.  Upon my conversion I was totally unaware that I had also been given an ‘extreme makeover’. When I went into work on Thursday morning one of the executives asked ‘what have you done differently with your makeup today?’ to which I replied ‘nothing’. ‘Ah’, he said, ‘but something is different’. It wasn’t until I had gained an understanding of 2 Corinthians 5:17 which says “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” that indeed God’s working power was evident in my life, shining forth in my face.

My most precious memory of my 1979 Ash Wednesday is a conversation that took place between my mother and me. Let me set the background and the scene. Mom was a prayer warrior. Her passion was knowing that everyone–but most importantly–her children have a saving relationship with Christ. So you can imagine and sense her sorrow knowing her daughter had drifted from God for four years. We’d even had several unpleasant conversations regarding my prodigal status. Visualize the prodigal daughter has moved back to her parent’s home and is now sleeping in her old bedroom. The work of the Ash Wednesday service is over in the natural, but very much active in the heart and mind of a scared 24 year old woman as she retires to bed for the night. In comes her mother who isn’t sure what to do or say to a child living with a decision to divorce, yet is so happy that her child was in church for the first time in four long years. She quietly sits on the bed next to her child, not seeing a grown woman, but the face of her baby and she gently pushes aside a strand of hair and whispers ‘is it good to be home?’ I’m certain  she meant to be physically back home in the safety of the walls that had protected me for 21 years. I answer ‘yes’ but really being expressed was that I was ‘Home’….in a rightful relationship with God. Now, these 35 years later, I realize I was actually in ‘two places at one time’–it can be accomplished! …..home and Home.