According to my oldest brother David, I took my “first” steps while our dad was installing hardwood flooring in the living room of our family home he built in 1954. David said I was sitting on a stack of the hardwood, stood up, walked from the living room through the kitchen and around through my bedroom back to where dad was working, and he added, I didn’t stop….my first steps were successful and now some 67 years later my feet and legs, though aged, still keep me going whether I’m doing errands or out for a long walk or run.

Besides taking my first steps walking, I’ve had other firsts in my life. Many are the same as most people–first day of school *first time riding a two wheeled bike *first time driving a car *first kiss *first job *first loss…..you see the pattern. Life is full of many “firsts” and all begin with “a next step…”

Last week one of my devotional readings asked this very question: What is the next step you need to take? The question followed a teaching on Psalm 37:5: “Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him and He will do this….” As I listened to the teaching I honed in when Brad took time to instruct the listener on the Hebrew word for commit. As he illustrated walking through a hiking trail in a wooded area, he laid out a word picture of being on a path and how Christians often think we are walking our own path, asking God to bless where we are treading. But, in Hebrew, the definition of “commit” is more, it’s actually asking God to “rollover” on the path we are on, thus joining WITH Him as we move along. Hearing that teaching was a lightbulb moment for me! In my years of being a Christian I had never heard this definition of the word commit. Furthermore, I’ve been quite satisfied to lay out my own desires or directions to take–sometimes selfishly or in pride–and asked God to bless my steps! I realize now how foolish my behavior has been.

I’m not sitting on a stack of hardwood flooring right now. Rather, I’m sitting at a crossroads in life. More specifically, it involves leadership, mentoring, learning, teaching….last week I wrote about my good friend, Tom, who died. He was not only a pastor in our church, he was the ministry leader of our Celebrate Recovery Ministry and I was his assistant. He was mentoring me. With the loss of Tom, I’ve been advanced to his role. Although I know much of the nuts and bolts to run the weekly meetings, there is a lot of behind the scenes stuff I hadn’t quite mastered. There are aspects to being a leader I’ve not tapped into, the path that I thought was fairly easy with no bumps or obstacles has suddenly changed to one that may be a winding trail, one that will require me to commit, trust…in Him and not in myself. There may even be some schooling I pursue–not by requirement but out of personal satisfaction in order to lead well. 

Tom leaves a big void. The path he walked is not my path although both are under that “rollover” protection and guidance of the God we both serve. Tom’s shoes are bigger than mine but not superior because in humility we both strived to lead others well, always pointing folks to Jesus, taking all focus off us. Yes, my feet are on my path. My eyes are on Jesus. As I make my strides along my path, establishing a healthy pace, every once in a while I will look up, down, or around me to make sure I’m staying the intended course. I’m excited. I’m scared. I’m confident. I’m apprehensive. I’m no longer a tiny girl sitting on a stack of wood, I’m older, and having found a “new” path to explore, I’m taking my “first steps”….