It’s midweek, the Wednesday after celebrating Christmas 2021 (which was wonderful by the way) and I’m reminiscing back to my childhood days, thinking about and comparing running my household to that of my mother who was raising us kids beginning in 1946 with David, 1950 and 1953 with Mark and me. So, I thought it’d be fun to create a list of comparisons.

• In her galley kitchen mom had a fridge, stove, and oven. She had a table with 5 chairs tucked in a corner. On the end of the wall hung our black rotary dial telephone. No dishwasher (that job was us kids, age appropriate) until a kitchen remodel in the 60s expanded the size of this room and a dishwasher was installed, which slowly she broke because she insisted on rinsing the dishes in soapy water before loading them to the racks…but she insisted the repairman was wrong…
• In the basement were her washer, dryer, and a clothesline. Outside she had a clothesline which was used in all warm weather months to reduce the “cost of running the dryer”.
• Many of our clothing items required ironing, so she had her squirt bottle of water to spritz on dry clothes, roll them up and put in plastic bags to pull out as she made her way through the shirts, blouses, pillowcases. Laundry was on Monday, Tuesday was filled with ironing, complete with proper starching of the collars and front placards on dad’s dress shirts. I remember her grumbling when ironing my blouses from The Village store–the fabric was stiff and wrinkled easily. She even ironed dad’s boxer shorts until he put his foot down one day, after YEARS of her doing so. (I think there was a minor “fight” over that confrontation)
• Our family had one car until my oldest brother David could drive and got his own. But, in all my years living at home–21 of them—dad and mom shared a car. She planned grocery trips and doctor//dentist/hair appointments around having the car for a day. This meant she either drove dad to work or he hitched a ride with a coworker. I fondly remember going with her to pick him up at 5 o’clock, my eyes focused on the doors of City Hall where I’d see him exit and make his way to the parking lot where we waited. He’d get behind the wheel, mom would scootch in the middle of the bench seat which allowed me to keep my spot by the window. There were NO seatbelts in those days or car seats (for sure I would have been buckled in either apparatus!)
• The grocery stores mom frequented were about the size of today’s current Dollar stores, maybe even smaller to be honest. Fresh produce, meat and dairy products were the staples of our diet. All the “middle aisle” foods such as chips, popcorn, and prepackaged foods were a treat and not a main ingredient for our daily nutritional needs. Mom’s theory was “why buy premade when I can make it from scratch” = hello macaroni and cheese! I remember her picking up a small carton of animal crackers and letting me open them to enjoy while she shopped. Of course, the box–whether partially eaten or not–went on the conveyor for payment. All the groceries were carefully packaged in brown paper bags–no plastic ones in those days! Additionally, the bags were loaded on a special cart and a bag boy (sorry girls) wheeled them to the car for mom and loaded them in the trunk or backseat for her. 
• Mom didn’t have a smartphone, a tablet, or a computer. All means of communication were either that black rotary dial telephone or by letter. Can you remember hearing moms in your neighborhood standing on porches and “yelling Susan! David! Mark–time for supper!”  I can. My husband’s mom had a dinner bell.  
•  Local phone calls were no problem as long as the party line was available; long distance ones were to be carefully thought out and carry great significance. When they were necessary, long chats were frowned upon–”costs money you know” I can hear her say…I honestly don’t remember if it was 2 or 5 cents per minute. No matter, those pennies added up quickly in her mind.
• I have two bathrooms to clean. Mom had one and until David got married there were five of us sharing that tiny room. Dad added a shower feature after Mark and I left home. We still scratch our heads about that….what we would have done to have a shower in our teen years. 
• My mother did not have a lot of close friends when I was a child. Basically she was an introvert, very private in many of her affairs. Her parents died before I was born. Thankfully, my dad came from a very large family and when I was old enough to understand, mom told me Grandma Jewell became her “mother”, not only in a relationship sense but also as a “spiritual mentor”. With dad being the middle kid of 11, as marriages happened and babies were added to the Jewell clan, Sundays at my grandparents were a lot of social time for mom. Grandma prepared the meal, the “gals” washed up all the dishes–NO paper plates in those days–grandma was relegated to a chair at the table to watch and listen in to my aunts and mom as they worked together washing, drying, putting away all the glasses, plates, pots and pans, everything used with great love to turn out chicken, potatoes, corn, pies and cookies to feed a crowd.
• Mom didn’t have social media. Remember the clothesline? It bordered two neighboring yards. She had many conversations with Helen and Diane if they were outside too. All those Sundays at grandmas in her kitchen created MANY conversations, and I’m sure asking for advice on how to deal with us kids as we grew from babies to being unruly teens.
• We attended church, more consistently as us kids left home. There, she made a couple of close friends, but for the most part she and dad were a couple and wherever he went, she was happy to follow.

As I sit here, making this list, and feelling all the “feels” from the memories, I realize mom didn’t have a blog either. She wasn’t interested in writing about her experiences as a girl, a young woman who dreamed of marriage with a family, or having a career mixed in with the joys and responsibilities of raising kids. She could have written about being a German born in America, the last child of immigrants. She could have described her life as the wife of a man who served in the U.S. Navy, sent off on ships to man in World War II and the Korean Conflict, how it was to be living without him for those early months, and then with two small boys for the second assignment. She could have told readers about the antics of two boys and one girl, each one giving her laughter and headaches.

 No, anything on her mind was usually kept private or turned into a prayer. She was careful not to gossip even though I know she fell into its trap like we all do. Her form of social media was the joy of visiting her three children who lived within reasonable driving distances. She loved it when any one of us came home for a visit or sit at her big round kitchen table to enjoy her “from scratch” meals= macaroni and cheese was still served, now to the  grandkids! She also enjoyed chats on the phone with us kids and eventually grandkids as they came along, but not too long mind you….after all, long distance costs….but memories are always free. 

This afternoon, I decided to make a social media post about our visitors, in an effort to share something light hearted yet enduring. My post read “Last night about 11:15 pm I heard movement in the back yard near our bedroom window…..two of them dining on and under a pine. These creatures are beautiful and I’m glad our pines offer nourishment in the winter months”.    My post got 17 likes, two women agreed regarding their beauty and grace, one family member replied “they would have been beautiful in my freezer”…and two other friends commented how the deer eat their bird seed and fruit trees, but agreed on their beauty.

During my walk today I listened to a podcast teaching how to take care of mental health, using meditation, natural supplements, and exercise as remedies. In a portion of the presentation Andrea talked about how situations come into our lives and no two people will react or respond in the same way. Some will be able to remain positive while others quickly turn to the negative aspects of what’s happening. That made me think about my social media post regarding my neighborhood visitors from last night. I KNOW deer are roaming my property because their footprints are evident by the many criss cross tracks left behind. But knowing and seeing are two different experiences. In my 15 minutes of quiet observation I was allowed to see how they stand strong and erect, their slow methodical wandering through the yard in search of food, long or short gazes to make sure they are safe, and their ability to ignore when a car drives down the side road, drivers completely oblivious to this nighttime feeding activity taking place under our pine tree. 

I thought about how my serene moments under a gray nighttime sky gave me peace, contentment, and awe while reactions from my post brought out the pesty behavior they create when eating bird seed and fruit trees, and the benefit of many comfort foods that have venison as a main ingredient. We all have perspective and it seems to stem from our main experience with circumstances.

I thought of our pine trees, too. They serve many purposes for us. They help shield our house from strong winds and noise from passing cars. They provide shade in the summer and strong branches for nesting birds or squirrels. The pine needles that drop and layer the ground beneath are a comfortable place to walk or even sit for a spell. When we need to trim branches, the dried wood is used for summer and fall bonfires. The numerous pine cones that fall to the ground are great kindling for those fires when friends come to roast marshmallows, swap stories, sit under early dusk skies that soon give way to a star studded night, maybe with the moon joining in to pour down light from the heavens.

Perspective, React, Respond. They are all words that provoke deep thought and assign us  emotions. Today, I choose to respond with gratefulness for witnessing my nighttime visitors, to actually see them making tracks in the snow rather than missing out on 15 minutes of nature coming to visit. While I don’t enjoy missing a good rest, I’d be disappointed not having the pleasure of their company, even if from my window.

Oh my goodness. Without realizing it and not being full prepared for the array of emotions connected with my current age (68) and being in the 2021 Christmas season, something inside me is brewing, percolating and creating a resonance of feelings colliding between memories from childhood and my desire to enjoy the beauty of Advent as I prepare my mind and heart to celebrate the birth of Christ. My mind was drawn back to childhood and young adult years growing up in Saginaw which had a thriving downtown business district which offered a variety of department stores, mostly owned by an individual family versus a large chain operation. We had Morley Brothers, Heavenrich’s, Weichmann’s, Edwards Men’s Shop, Seitner’s, Jacobson’s, Town & Country, The Village…along with JC Penney, Sears, and Montgomery Ward. 

Today, I have been envisioning how Christmas shopping has changed from my days of being a wide eyed child, fascinated by the lights and decor in all the department stores and Christmas carols playing through overhead systems, the beautiful melodies pouring outside to fill snowy streets and sidewalks crowded with shoppers. I can still see and remember with great fondness the Christmas that dad, mom and I went shopping after dinner one night, visiting a crowded downtown that was bursting with happy families carrying packages, scurrying in and out of the stores, all under the streetlights and fresh falling snow. I was old enough to be allowed to shop by myself that evening, as long as I told dad which store I was going to and where we would meet when finished. I can still feel the energy that was created from walking through large groups of other families as we all made our way up and down Genesee Street or Washington Avenue to our favorite stores. Walking a couple blocks or making the jaunt around an entire block to visit Seitner’s or Jacobson’s was worth any amount of time spent on snowy sidewalks. A visit to Weichmann’s was a must as the Christmas decorations hung from the mezzanine dazzled the eye and helped to fill hearts with the beauty of Christmas. Every store, every business was decorated with lights, Christmas trees, window displays to delight small children, and music to herald the person of the season, Christ Himself.

Today, sadly, those kinds of shopping experiences have faded from most of our downtown districts. On numerous visits back to Saginaw, I have noted the decay and vacancy of thriving businesses from its downtown. Many of the buildings are no longer there; they’ve been demolished, replaced with “green space”, while some still stand but they are doing so on the last legs of their brick foundations and cornerstones no longer revered by folks coming to this area of the city. Fortunately, in the last several years, a few new small businesses have opened, a farmer’s market has been birthed along the river near the Saginaw News building, and medical offices are slowly taking over some of the old storefronts. The contrast from vibrant days of the past have been replaced by an empty bleakness as once highly energized seasons of shopping slowly made their way to the growing suburbs. 

Also gone from the Christmas past, is the beautiful decor that storeowners took great pride in displaying to entice us into purchasing their wares. Window displays were elaborate and carefully assembled. I can’t remember the last time in recent years the joy of walking past a huge window adorned with beautiful items waiting to be wrapped and placed under a tree. Hearing the traditional sacred Christmas carols has been replaced with silence or merely the secular songs that leave out the Holy One, yet promote a guy wearing a red suit….holiday songs of good cheer and laughter, but not many of the Joy and Hope found in the Christ child.

Christmas experiences have changed in many ways and if I’m not careful, I find I’m allowing myself to be surrounded by their effects, too. I miss not having a downtown to shop. I miss those days when a department store could give me a beautiful memory. I miss crowded sidewalks, snow falling on my head under the lights along the walks. I miss having a sales clerk offering to wrap my purchase in beautiful paper complete with ribbon and bow–for free! And being dismissed with a hearty “Merry Christmas!” I miss Christmases past, but I’m deeply grateful for all the memories I hold dear, ones I cherish, and though I may not be able to recreate them without a nearby downtown shopping district, I am eternally thankful that the Christ child remains my focus as I make my purchases this Christmas, as I do my own wrapping of presents to place under our tree, as I listen to the classic songs that proclaim “Joy to the World, the Lord has come!”

Lights. Snow. Shoppers. Family. Gifts. Decor. They are all good and part of Christmas beauty. To this grown woman sitting here reminiscing about Christmas in the 70s, Christ was our focus then and He remains so this year and years to come. Thank you memories past….for the joy and love that lit up the streets and filled my heart with Christmas warmth.

Looking down Washington Avenue, JC Penney was on the left. Morley Brothers Building is on the right, a neighbor to Second National Bank which took up the corner. Also on the corner, is the Bancroft Building, which was home to a hotel, ballrooms, restaurants, and conference center for many years.

Part of most days for me includes writing out a “to do” list, a practice I’ve developed especially when my schedule may be hectic or quite frankly, the perils of aging that can bring on moments of forgetfulness or fear of neglecting to do something that may cause anxiety if forgotten. So, part of my early morning routine is to grab my small notebook that I use for making my list of things I want to get finished before sitting down in the evening to relax and unwind, to reflect on what my day held. Depending on the day of the week, my list certainly will vary. Some items or jobs that show up are: Food prep * Send card to ____ * Text or call ____ * Laundry * Sweep Floors *Agenda for _____ * Groceries * Exercise 

I always cross off the item when I’ve finished the task. I’ve been known to perform a chore that wasn’t on the list and go so far as to add it to the jobs for the mere satisfaction of crossing it off! When discussing with my friend Tiffany this silly action, she admitted she does the same thing! What is with that? How can a small act like that bring a smile to my face considering it’s always done in private and certainly no one is the supervisor or manager of my own “to do” list? Whatever the answer, the bottom line is the good feeling I experience when my pen draws a line through each item on my list. Throwing all logic of trying to understand the human nature behind adding and eliminating things from my list, I know I will continue to work my list in this manner.

Another form of lists comes to mind now that we are in the Season of Advent, the weeks leading up to Christmas. Many families use gift lists as a way to communicate the things each person “wishes”, “wants” or “needs”. When I first joined my husband’s family, my mother-in-law asked me for my Christmas list. This was new for me. My parents never shopped from a list; they chose their gifts based on making choices they thought we kids would enjoy. My MIL was from a different breed; she preferred to purchase near exactly what each person wanted. So, in 1980 I gave her my list of ideas. At least, I thought that’s what I was doing. I gave her a piece of paper with about 6 or 8 “ideas” written down, expecting she would choose 2 or 3 and call it good, done. To my surprise–and embarrassment–she bought just about everything on the list. Little did I know that as a member of my new family. I found myself feeling embarrassed, as already stated, but worrying that I saw her as an opportunist to meet my selfish wants. I had woven some humor into my list, too, by including at the bottom of my list “Mazda RX7” (my favorite dream car ownership at the time) Not to ignore my humor, she bought a model size version of the car….causing a good laugh and cherished memory forty some years later…

I find now that, unlike my parents, I enjoy getting Christmas lists from our own children. They include many great ideas, but one thing has changed. They aren’t written down on paper any longer. They’ve taken on the look of an email or what happened this year, lists drawn up through the technology of Amazon’s site. It was amazingly fun to sit at my laptop, click on items to add to my cart, watch the item disappear from their list, and update for whoever would shop next. Wow, we’ve come a long way from scraps of paper and pens. What hasn’t changed is the joy of buying what each person “wishes”, “wants” or “needs”.

Yes, I use lists. I enjoy making lists. They keep me on track with time management and come in handy when perusing the grocery aisles. Of all the habits I entertain, making and using a list is one of the best activities to help me feel focused and gain a sense of accomplishment at the end of my day. In the past, I’ve posted an ongoing grocery list on our fridge and imagine my chuckles every time I read my husband’s handwriting down in a corner, “smoochies”….

Today, I made my “to do” list after my personal connection time with God. I will do some food prep *cards are ready to be mailed *no laundry until my husband can check the wash tub which overflowed earlier in the week * banking * get in a walk (mail those cards) * write my  blog (check!) * order a couple more Christmas gifts…..and look forward to each item with a line drawn neatly through it, an indication of another day full with small chores that bring big rewards and a smile to my face as I sit down later this evening under the warmth of a throw blanket and cup of hot tea to seal the moments of jobs well done.