This thought provoking question was posed in my morning devotion reading: Who would you like to have at your dinner table? I didn’t have to hesitate very long before someone popped into my head, and no, it wasn’t Jesus. Though He certainly would be the best guest, I had to go with someone else. I chose my grandparents, Eduard and Ida Hillert.  Let me explain why.

The current war events in Ukraine have stirred many emotions in me, also causing a lot of questions about my mother’s parents to resurface. I’m of European ancestry, mainly German. Grandpa’s Declaration of Intention to pursue United States citizenship (of which I have a photocopy) shows that he was born on December 24, 1884 in Koenigsburg, Poland. Family oral history states he was orphaned at age 4 at which time he was cared for by a foster family into his teen years, following that period of time he lived on his own until coming to America July 26, 1911. One of my first questions is “how did his parents die…what was going on around their home around 1888 to lose father and mother….did he stay in Poland with the foster family…what kind of trade did he learn as a young adult?”

When my mother told me about how her parents met, it was always accompanied by some giggling. Apparently my grandparents met at a dance and he was quite taken by this slightly older woman. (Grandma was born in 1882) Memories tell us that he proposed to her three times before she responded “what do I have to lose…no one else is coming to court me”. Grandma’s father was a schoolmaster, taught in their home, and according to my mother her German was impeccable compared to grandpa’s working man dialect. Mom told me grandpa envied his wife’s grammar and control of her German.  They were married October 8, 1908 in Poland. Together they had six children and while grandpa made the oceanic voyage to America in 1911, she and the oldest child Natalie did not join him until October of 1913.

The SS Cassel carried my grandfather from Bremen, Germany to Philadelphia, Pennsylvania but he made his way to Saginaw, Michigan where he settled on the east side of the Saginaw River to work, eventually buy a home, and wait to bring grandma and Natilie to him. They sailed to America on the Kronprinz Wilhelm from Bremen. I located a photo of the 14,908 ton ship which was built in 1901, scrapped in 1923. All the families, men, women and children, those who manned this ship–all the conversations in multiple languages, experiences, now gone, forever perished beyond imagination. The SS Cassel was built in 1901, was sold to the French for a time, before being scrapped in 1926. She could carry just over 2,000 passenger….I wonder how many people she brought from Europe to other countries besides America…all the old left behind, new lives being carved out amidst many unknown,  all with a hope for a future that included safety and security…

Back to dining with my grandfather. I’d like to ask him when he first heard of America and how his goal to come here took birth inside him. How did he feel about going from extreme poverty as a farm laborer to gain a position with a railroad company working on mechanical repairs to the engines? How easy was it to learn to speak German, Polish, Russian and English? Were you always a Lutheran and how did your relationship with God ebb and wane in the face of adversity, both in Europe and in America?

I would ask him what my mother was like as a little girl? She was the youngest. Is it true you really spoiled the girls with new dresses every year when many families were struggling financially during the Great Depression? 

What was your reaction, grandpa, when Hitler went to war in your homeland? Was it difficult to think about relatives you and grandma left behind who were now under that cruel regime? A paragraph Form 2202 says you will “renounce” forever ALL allegiance and fidelity to any foreign prince, potentate, state, or sovereignty….furthermore you swore that “I am not an anarchist”.….and by evidence of your signature that was your oath on May 22, 1939 to the Clerk of the Circuit Court in Saginaw, Michigan. In the lower corner of this form is a photo of my grandfather, no smile, looking very serious in a suit and tie. It’s apparent that pursuing citizenship in America was not taken lightly.

I would reminisce with grandpa and ask to hear story after story about his life…meeting and marrying grandma…coming to America….having five children born in Saginaw, the boys having to enlist in the armed forces in World War II to fight German men….was that heartbreaking? How did you reconcile that in your mind? Were any and all loyalties to the “MotherLand” now permanently gone, just like the scrapping of the very vessels that brought you here? I’d want to know, to hear him explain in English with accents of German here and there.

My grandfather died in 1948. He succumbed to cancer. I never knew him, only by the memories shared to me by my mother, my aunt, and my dad who married into their family in 1945.  Grandma passed away peacefully in her chair one evening in 1952. One thing my mom always said about her father (Pa as she referred to him)  was “he would have spoiled you, Susan…he loved his girls”. Though the thoughts of being spoiled sound good in the moment, gifts and trinkets fade, tarnish and eventually are thrown away. What I’m craving is actual conversations, stories and experiences to be told with gaiety and laughter when sitting at a meal. Having dinner with my grandparents would be grand. I can only draw from my imagination what those conversations would sound like. 

Two things bring me comfort in the absence of physically knowing my grandparents. First, I have the memories that have been told to me by my parents and secondly, I know that when I get to heaven they will be there. I’m hoping–guessing?–there will be plenty of time to find a table, prepare a delicious meal of good German foods, pull up chairs, and with fork in hand ask “So, grandpa, grandma, tell me about ……”

Until then, I’ll cherish what I know now, what I’ve been told….I’ll try to use their life experiences to have empathy and great concern for the people in Ukraine, praying many will be able to relocate to new homes…near and far…to once again feel safe and secure.