BUTTERFLY SOAP & STEALING

My goodness! You say,     what does butterfly soap and stealing have to do with one another? Well, let me tell you why….

“You shall not steal.” Deuteronomy 5:19

When our daughter was about three years old I took her on a quick evening shopping errand to a nearby linens store. Obviously I needed some new things for our home and leaving her home wasn’t an option since my husband worked evenings. Our shopping would be a quick in and out…I knew what I needed. When we got back home I discovered a butterfly shaped soap in the bottom of my bag, a soap that I had not purchased. It quickly occurred to me that maybe a pretty little girl’s eyes had spied something pretty…luring her small hands to put the soap inside my bag when I wasn’t looking after making payment for my items. Kids are quick…moms don’t always see their impish antics.

My question to Sarah about the soap was given an honest answer. Yes, she liked the butterfly soap and took it. She didn’t attempt to cover over her possession of the soap with a lie…honesty came easily which allowed me to have a teachable moment with her.

“Sarah, we need to take the soap back.”

“Why?”

“Because we didn’t pay for it. That’s wrong. It’s taking something that doesn’t belong to us”.

Back to the car we went…buckled her a second time in her car seat….made the short drive back to the store and walked up to the counter, facing the very same clerk who had cashed out my purchase. I placed the soap on the counter, looking into the face of a clerk who was pondering “what is going on…..”

“I need to return this soap. My daughter took it and put it in my bag without me realizing or paying for it.”

“You’re kidding, right?” The clerk provided me with a new definition of the word bewildered. Her eyes were wide with shock and her body was rigid with surprise.

“No, I’m not kidding. She took it. I didn’t pay for it”.

“Well, it’s no big deal…(smiling) trying to dismiss the little stolen soap as nothing to worry about.

“Oh, it is a big deal, to me, and my daughter needs to learn that taking something without paying for it is wrong”.

“Ok…..” (still startled)…

Would you agree that ‘stealing is stealing’ no matter the price of an item? Would you agree that if you take something…get caught….whether you stole out of childhood innocence or outright impure motives…that being caught is the perfect time to teach what is right, especially in God’s eyes? Sure, Sarah was a mere 3 years old…but what if she had been 13 and put something in my bag or her own purse? By then it’s referred to as ‘shoplifting’.

I remember when I was about 8 or so, I stole a pair of pink Barbie doll shoes from the Kresge Store. I put them in my pocket. My mother never found out. She never had the opportunity to teach me that I had stolen something. Silly as it may sound, whenever I placed those shoes on one of my Barbie dolls….I knew….I didn’t feel right inside. In fact, I never used those pink shoes if I was playing in front of my mother because I worried that she’d “know” HOW the shoes came into my possession….. I never told anyone about my own thieving experience until many years later when I thought “I better ask God to forgive me for taking those shoes….” yes, the shoes were small…but the act of taking something without paying can carry consequences if not dealt with properly. Those little pink heels were probably about 69 cents, too, and I’m pretty sure that experience taught me do do better with a 69 cents soap 25 years later.

Maybe you’re asking why I didn’t merely pay for the 69 cent soap and call it good. I guess it was because I didn’t need that soap…but my little girl needed a life lesson and as far as I know, I don’t think she’s taken things that don’t belong to her. If she has and I’m unaware….well, she’s an adult now…God can do some talking to her. Why didn’t I ask my mom if she would buy the 69 cents shoes for me? That remains a mystery….

Last week’s blog entry originated from memories when we moved into our new home where we basically raised our two young children until they became adults and moved into lives of college classes, jobs, creating families of their own. Both their childhoods have provided me with many fond memories, especially conversations as their young minds absorbed information along with comprehending or catching examples that my husband and I were intentionally giving them –or by accident– to grow up loving, knowing and serving God. Ephesians 5:1 says “Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children.” (New Living Translation) What does folding laundry and royalty have to do with each other?…

My husband was gone for a weekend, attending a Christian men’s conference. At the time our daughter was 8 and our son, 4. On Saturday evening I found myself alone in our bedroom, folding clean laundry and using the bed as my place to stack the piles of clean clothes…sorting socks to match them….making four neat piles for each one’s clothes….a weekly chore that took a couple of days to stay ahead of the task. 

The kids were either playing in their room or watching a TV program while I performed my laundry duties. In the middle of folding yet another clean towel our four year old son Daniel came bouncing in and announced with no introduction or fanfare “Ya know, mom, dad is the king of the house?” Hmmm, I thought…where’d this come from? Where’s he headed with THIS conversation? 

Perhaps too flippantly I answered “Well, then I guess that makes me the queen”….picking up the next article of clothing to fold thinking he was finished talking. 

“Well, I see dad reading his bible and that makes him a better king.” Gulp. I almost missed the moment. I honestly don’t remember what happened next or if we talked further regarding his observation. All I do remember is being in awe of a spiritual a-ha moment that now–some 30 years later–is still embedded in my memories that serve as an example of “we never know exactly how much our children are ‘catching’ from our everyday routines. “A better king…..”

I also remember that I didn’t use Dan’s four year old observation as an opportunity to preach to him…to hammer down additional truths from the bible that we parents sometimes do in desperation and fear that our children will reject God’s existence and make decisions that affect their eternal lives…no, I also recall feeling very humbled…a blanket of warmth wrapped around my heart as I acknowledged that in the middle of a routine weekly chore, God chose to use a little boy conversation to show me that we were being effective parents–flaws and all.

“A better king….implying that spiritual maturity and growth happens when we meet with God, read the Bible, spend time in prayer. We don’t do it to earn gold stars from God–we do it to deepen our relationship with Him and pass on to our children an inheritance of faith birthed in a Perfect King–Jesus–King of Kings and Lord of Lords,  Who has made a way for all of us to choose following in His footsteps to become “better kings”….and even “queens”….members of a royal priesthood. 1 Peter 2: 9 “But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of Him Who called you out of darkness into His wonderful Light.” (New International Version)

P.S. In his own way now, our Daniel is becoming a “better king”, too. Just like his dad, like his grandfathers….like many in our families who came long before us…laying down a foundation of faith to be caught…taught…observed…sometimes with words and often with silent actions. 

Well, my 69th Christmas has come and gone….it wasn’t the celebration that I had anticipated when we entered the season of Advent…even though preparations for a beautiful day were on time…actually far ahead for me considering I’m a chronic procrastinator at times….gifts were purchased and wrapped, some baking was finished in order to enjoy a cookie or two during coffee breaks….our tree and other decor were in place early in December….all that needed to be finished was waiting for a good snow covering and having our children and grands in our home Christmas Day. Well laid out plans were canceled due to sickness hitting one of our children’s family…so opening gifts and enjoying a Christmas ham were delayed until New Year’s Day. But, those things are not the focus of my entry today. I want to take a look at comparing my current Christmases to some memories and practices that span my 69 years.

• Growing up, our family always had a “real” tree. I remember trudging through the snow with dad–his hatchet in hand–to choose “just the right tree”. This took time because so many opinions were involved, us three kids, dad and mom–if she wasn’t waiting in a warm car!  I was shocked to learn that artificial Christmas trees actually date back to the late 1800s, in Germany. Imagine metal wire trees covered in feathers from a goose, turkey, or ostrich! They were even dyed green to imitate pine needles. In the 1930s the Addis Brush Company created the first artificial -brush trees, using the same machinery that made their toilet brushes! Um, feathers? Toilet brush look a likes? No thank you. 
• I can remember Christmas cards lined up across the mantle above the fireplace in my childhood home. There were dozens from family, friends, dad’s co-workers. Mom was challenged each day when bringing in the mail– where to put the numerous cards that arrived every day throughout the month of December. When we were first married, I loved getting cards and made it a priority of my own to send out beautiful cards to loved ones. The task took up several evenings after dinner, but I felt it was a wonderful tradition to maintain, even when time was tight. Now? This year I think we received less than 12 cards–I’ve noticed that Christmas cards have been replaced with memes posted on social media–hitting every person who opens the app and sees the variety of greetings in their feed. Did you know that the Christmas card originated in England in 1843. Well, that’s what one article says. Hector Cole found a way to take advantage of England’s “penny post” system for sending correspondence. Look it up….maybe people aren’t sending cards for a couple of reasons….time, cost of a stamp. A confession? I sent out six cards this year, all to out of town folks.
• It’s not the extravagance or price of a gift that matters. I saw this when our grandchildren opened their gifts. Don’t get me wrong, they loved what we purchased and put under the tree along with their stockings. My husband gave our two grandsons a penlike magnet that extends for reaching tough spots. Can you guess the results? Yes, all four of the kids took turns seeing if it stuck to a variety of surfaces….an inexpensive purchase at our local hardware created lots of giggles while experimenting.

Christmas is one of my favorite seasons and days of the year. I have many fond memories from all the years that are behind me now…from childhood…early married years…watching our children grow and adding in their spouses and children of their own. We aren’t a perfect family, yet every time we get together on Christmas, there’s always conversations about their favorite memories, too. I’m careful to listen to them…hearing what made this holiday special to them…giggling over some of the gifts they have received….glowing with enthusiasm when giving gifts to us and one another.

Yes, Christmas looks different every year now…and that’s ok….we celebrate the birth of the Christ child…we attend Christmas Eve service at church….I “hope” for snow…and I have yummy treats in the pantry to go with coffee or hot chocolate while I sit by the glow of our Christmas tree–which is an artificial one–missing the years trudging through the snow to find a real one….missing our parents….missing the challenge of displaying oodles of Christmas cards…embracing the beauty of the season while creating memories that will be cherished no matter traditions or not….at least I don’t have “feathers” to clean up or wonder if people think my tree resembles a collection of toilet brushes….yup, we’ve come a long way.