Here I sit, in my chair in front of my laptop, the quiet humming of the fan running in the background as my fingers gently tap the keys while I spend a few moments daydreaming and gazing around my office…quietly uttering to myself…”what am I going to write about THIS week?”.…coming up with a theme, a generalized thought, is a real struggle and although it’s not enough to raise  my anxiety level, I admit I fret for a few moments over my inability to always have a topic in mind…to recall something cute or funny that may have happened during the week that could be turned into a whimsical post…to wonder why a morning spent doing other tasks all the while thinking “I need to sit down and post a blog today….” doesn’t suddenly give me something inspiring…

Until I glanced at a mailer from a local department store reminding me that Mother’s Day is Sunday, May 14. The fact that I kept the flier is somewhat puzzling because I no longer have a mother who is alive to celebrate in the day’s traditional manner. We said goodbye to her in 1999…moreso in 1995 we said goodbye to my husband’s mother, so you can see…we’ve both been motherless for quite some time now.

We no longer peruse through the countless cards for Mother’s Day…trying to choose exactly the right one. Gifts we used to purchase are no longer necessary and making time to visit both moms while they were alive doesn’t crowd our calendar on this special Sunday that has been set aside for moms. No, I guess I don’t need the flier advertising all the pretty things mom may want, but there it sits in the office filing tray, catching my eye when I look up from my laptop.

The pretty flier is displaying gift ideas such as slippers, candles, coffee mugs, soft blanket throws…makeup and flowers. All those things are very nice and I’m sure any mom would be happy to receive as a gift, but deep down for me I think most moms merely want to feel loved and appreciated by their children…to spend time together laughing over a meal…taking a walk down memory lane raising us who are now adults and parenting our own children.

Our two moms were the kind that didn’t need fancy gifts on Mother’s Day. They were the kind that I described above…I have beautiful memories of many Sunday afternoons spending time with both of them…giving them a carefully chosen card and maybe a plant that could be enjoyed during the warm months until Fall’s colder weather takes its toll on plants and flowers.

Yes, I don’t know why I kept this Mother’s Day flier. Designed to entice me into purchasing a gift from an array of items, it has provoked loving memories of two moms in my life and now–forever–added grief as I miss them very much..wish I could hear their voices one more time…hear my mother-in-law’s laugh….visit with both of them over delicious Sunday evening meals…joining with millions of other people who are also celebrating the special spot in our hearts reserved for our mothers….a special spot we think will always be there, ready to take in all the beautiful aspects of who our moms are…what they mean to us…a spot that was once living and active is now a treasure box of memories accumulated over the years…