Before it became a nine hole golf course and home to a private country club, the acreage across from my family home was a farm owned and operated by the Rader Family. Elmer was the “farmer”, a gentle giant of a man, the kind whose physical presence was enough to scare anyone less his size, be easily intimidated until you got to know him which is when his kindness and gentle natured way of teasing came out behind a huge grin that usually adorned his weather worn face. This is how I remember him anytime during my childhood that I interacted with him. There was only one instance I remember witnessing his anger–more like a big disappointment–the time myself and my friends decided to play in his wheat field.

Mr. Rader’s wheat was growing nicely under summertime days filled with sunshine and ample rain. The stalks were up to our chins, and we kids were mesmerized by how gentle breezes made the wheat look like waves on a lake. We loved walking among the stalks and on one particular day we decided to use them as a backdrop for “catching “ us when we fell backwards. You know–the kind of falling back we do into someone’s waiting arms–the exercise of building trust. As our body slowly falls backwards we wait to feel the friendly trusting catch of our partner in the exercise. Instead of a partner, we were allowing the wheat to break our fall and it did, but unknown to us at the time, the wheat wasn’t able to bounce back. Our falls left it lying close to the ground, no longer swaying in the wind, stalks unable to stand sturdy and strong under sunshine. The effects of our unintended damage escaped our immature minds but did not go unnoticed by Mr. Rader. It didn’t take long for him to figure out who the culprits were and each one of us received a well deserved scolding.

In the book of Proverbs it says in chapter 3, verses 5-6, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight”.

Life gives us many opportunities to make choices. Until we know better, we will make mistakes. When we were kids we didn’t know that playing in Mr. Rader’s wheat would create damage…our feet trampling healthy plants…our laying down on the beautiful stalks causing them to be crushed and possibly not be part of harvest time.  We needed Mr. Rader’s discipline and gentle instruction to “know” and “do” differently and better.

Such it is with God. We need His wise counsel. We need His way of teaching that brings understanding and correction to our poor behaviors and decisions that can lead to destruction. We need to “lean” into God and not be controlled by our own devices or negative emotions.

When we kids “leaned” and “rested” on Mr. Rader’s wheat, it wasn’t until we were disciplined later that we realized the error of our ways. The temporary fun and enjoyment of our antics were replaced with being “caught”…getting a “lecture” so-to-speak…knowing that we could never repeat what felt so good and innocent at the time…because Mr. Rader was the owner of the land and wheat crop…the coming harvest was his livelihood and he had the “right” to protect it, right down to every last stalk of golden goodness. 

And, such it is with God. He is the creator of our world and everything in it, including you and me. He is Holy and just, He has set commands before us, not to control or rob us from living an abundant life. Quite the opposite, God wants us to enjoy a life of abundance as evidenced by John 10-10: “The thief (Satan) comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I (Jesus)  came that they may have life and have it abundantly”.

Mr. Rader’s farmland is long gone now. By the time I was in elementary school a portion of his land was sold to make room for a housing development. Later, where wheat, sugar beets, corn or beans once grew, a golf course was established with a private club building in the midst of the property. Mr. Rader built a new home directly across the street from my family home. When I close my eyes I can still “see” the wheat….the exact area where we kids trampled and broke down some of his precious plants. Golden stalks are gone now, but beauty has not been lost or destroyed. Now the land is adorned with beautiful green grass, kept watered and groomed by the new landowner.

A lesson learned from childhood–the wrong kind of “leaning” has been acknowledged along with implementing the “right” way of assuming this relaxing posture, one that instructs me to “fall” in the arms of Jesus. Let Him catch me. Let Him hold me. The beautiful part of this? 

His arms are big and strong enough to catch you, too. If you’re not sure…I encourage you to try it. What do you have to lose? Plus, when you DO fall back onto Him, there won’t be a scolding that comes later. On the contrary, you will receive a harvest of His “abundant” life as promised in His Word.

Much to my dismay, once warm weather arrived–the kind of temperatures where windows can be open allowing cool breezes to fill the house–along comes an occasional “thing” that doesn’t belong.

Since the month of May I have found a variety of small spiders in the house…as well as a few ants–the large black ones to be exact–the ants cause me to become more angry for some reason. I have found them on the kitchen counter, under the sink…most recently one was walking on the kitchen soffit … .I found one in the hallway near the thermostat and this morning one was crawling on my barefoot as I sat in the office checking email!

Those three ants did not belong in either spot when I found them! Goodness, if they were looking for a tasty crumb or a cool drink neither of those were on their path. Which leads me to Psalm 37: 5. How many of us wander from the right path that God has set before us?

This verse–one of my favorites–says “Commit your way to the Lord;…”

Months ago I listened to a teaching on this verse and was amazed at what I learned. The “way” mentioned here refers to a road, a journey, a path and when we realize that it’s God who creates that very road…that “way”, and we “commit” ourselves to His design, in essence we are “rolling” on top of the path…we are not merely walking along without purpose or an end goal. Living a committed life keeps us “where we belong”…unlike my small ant visitors who truly don’t belong in my house–they were created to live in the outdoors creating homes and doing work in the dirt!

So, why commit–roll over–and remain on the road that God built for you? The answer comes in the next portion of the verse…(we) trust in Him and He will do “this”. What will He do? What exactly does “this” refer to for us?  “He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun”. Sounds like a very hot bright result, doesn’t it?

Who doesn’t want to shine brightly when faced with darkness? Who doesn’t want to be part of something big–a worthy cause–I know that I can say “yes” to both possibilities. Because of my relationship with Christ, Who made me righteous with His death on a cross…with my acceptance of His gift of salvation which redeems me, changes me, gives me new life…I can discern the path He has laid before me…ask for guidance to stay rolled over on the road paved by Him…wake each day trusting that because of Christ in me I can shine His Light to all I meet…take up worthy causes…stay where I belong and not wander off seeking what I need in all the wrong places.

Psalm 37 is a great read. Many of its commands are circled and underlined from numerous readings … .which only proves that more than once I’ve landed on its 40 verses to glean instruction, comfort, and develop my understanding of how to read God’s road map for my life.

A mere few weeks ago the lilies near our driveway were covered with buds, each passing day they grew larger along with my anticipation for the beauty they would put on display. And then catastrophe happened…on one of my morning walk-abouts, I discovered that every last bud had been chomped, leaving only the green leafy stem of each lily. I was devastated.

This week, on another walk about through the yard, I saw where the lily plants had been further eaten. Every last leaf on each stem was gone. Where once a healthy green stem bore many leaves and several potential blooms, now what remains is a spindly looking green stick shoved in the ground.

Deer. I’m not happy. They devoured and defiled something of beauty. I felt and continue to feel devastated and angry.

I know the deer need food, but I don’t understand why they can’t be satisfied with the lovely green grasses of our lawn or the pine needles on branches within easy reach? 

Such is heartache for some of us as life–meant to be innocent, pure and beautiful–is ravaged by deep hurt…our childhoods devoured by someone feeding an addiction or satisfying a sinful nature in all the wrong places.

Recently–and not merely this one story–I have heard accounts from women (and men) who were sexually molested/abused as children, often as only a toddler. Stories of inappropriate touch…unwelcome hugs and kisses…acts that are meant to be shared between a husband and wife…some of the predators were family friends, a sibling, and even a parent. Story after story –sharing after sharing–always leaves me feeling paralyzed, the kind of immobilization that makes me truly try to comprehend “why” did those horrific things happen? How could anyone harm a child, a teen, a loved one….

Certainly, the destruction of a lily does not nor ever measure in equality of hurt compared to harming an innocent child. But what the two images in my mind accomplish for me is how something with purpose–a beautiful plant–a uniquely created human being–both fashioned by God…can easily and quickly be destroyed.

My lilies will survive, though they will not bloom this season. The spindly stems will dry up, finish feeding the bulb which is safe under the soil and come up again next spring.

The harmed child will survive, too, but what scars will remain? How will life be different carrying around unhealed hurt or burying pain that was told to remain secret?

Like the bulb buried in the soil, there is hope. In our Celebrate Recovery Ministry we have many individuals who have found healing from the unintended destruction in their lives. By facing their hurts–by coming out of denial that problems don’t exist as a result of things done to them against their will–by bringing their past out of the darkness like that black dirt my liles live in, they are emerging into the Light of Christ Who promises healing, restoration, and new life!

Yes, deer chomp plants. Yes, people hurt people. But God is in the business of overcoming anything that keeps us from living an abundant life.  

Anything.

Lone gone are the last days of school for me. My own ended with graduation in June of 1971. I’d be a liar if I said “it seems like only yesterday” when I sat with my 600+ classmates on our football field waiting to get through all the speeches until each one of us walked up to the platform to get our diploma. While I can remember being very uncomfortable in my cap and gown in the afternoon heat, I cannot recall one speech or which one of my classmates delivered it. Living in that moment was certainly an important time in my life but now it’s a nice faded memory like an old pair of favorite jeans.

This week kids all over our communities are graduating, too…with the popularity of social media many of their photos are being posted for family and friends to enjoy. Parents are sharing first day/last day comparison photos and they’ve been great to see…causing me to reflect back on my own trek through elementary school years on into junior high and eventually high school.

Much has changed in the 52 years since I left my high school in Saginaw. We didn’t have social media to post photos or create an event for our graduation parties. Goodness, it wasn’t until my senior year that we girls were allowed to wear jeans or pants to school.

In my elementary years, on our last half day of school, we COULD wear shorts! Our dress code for the school year was always a dress or skirt…socks with shoes…no sandals or flip flops. We never saw a teacher in pants either….attire for them was the same, and our male teachers were required to wear a tie.

My elementary school was a city block from our home, which meant I walked. Our neighborhood had at least 50 kids, so we always had a group to join as we made our way to Merrill Park. I can remember being excited and nervous all at the same time, arriving on time and getting to my desk, waiting for my teacher to hand me my final report card with all my grades, her written comments regarding my academic growth…notes about behavior…and most important of all…the indication I had passed onto the next grade and who my teacher would be in the new school year. The walk home was filled with relief and all of us kids comparing grades and finding out if we would be in the same classroom with a friend.

I have many fond memories from my school years, most of which were never captured in a photo or social media post that are commonplace today. Some memories are tangled with the current events from the 70s…I can remember the “guys” in my graduating class being concerned about registering for the draft as the VietNam War was being fought….others were headed off to a top ten university, questioning if they were prepared for the rigors of college courses….quite a few went straight into the workforce as Saginaw had three major automobile plants working three shifts, promising good pay and steady employment. A few of my classmates enlisted in the military, a choice that was well respected in our community.

On my graduation night, I got my diploma. Well, actually, I got the folder my diploma would go into…in order to get my “actual” diploma I had to return my cap and gown…the tassel was mine to keep…along with a bunch of memories that are becoming more difficult to “pull up” in an aging mind…yet always bring a smile to my face when they do…and knowing I no longer need to worry about passing or failing…