This weekend—as you’re reading this–marks a special day for me and my family. Sunday, October 15 is my dad’s birthday. Had he not passed away in 2012 at the age of 91, my goodness he’d be 102. While you may think that’s a very large number for a person’s lifespan, consider I have two great aunts who reached 100 and beyond. Great Aunt Esther lived to be 100 and Aunt Vinie was a mature 104!

Many people often describe their father as being “their hero’. That’s a description I’ve never given to my dad; I prefer to honor him by quickly pointing out that he was the BEST” role model” for me in many ways. In the Book of Galatians we are given a list of fruits that are produced by the spirit of God. They are Love *Joy *Peace *Patience *Kindness *Goodness *Faithfulness *Gentleness and *Self-Control. Though it may be hard to comprehend, I saw every one of these beautiful attributes in my dad. I dare say if gentle teasing and a “good shaggy dog story” (as he often described a corny joke) could be part of that fruitful  harvest, those would be hanging on the vine too.

My dad–Jack to his family and friends–never met a stranger. He struck up conversations everywhere we went, whether to the local hardware store in our neighborhood, a grocery store, restaurant, lumber yard…you get the picture. He especially enjoyed striking up conversations with children and encouraging young parents in the midst of a child’s tantrum that better days were ahead.  

Growing up in Saginaw, which had a thriving downtown business district back in the 50s and 60s, I was always amazed that when we walked into the Sears Roebuck store–namely the tool department–he was called by name. I guess when a guy purchases his power tools from one location you become recognizable. Even salesmen at local dealerships knew him well which was odd to me because my parents did not purchase their first “new” car until 1966. Up until then, the family automobile was always a “used” model, mostly a good ole Oldsmobile. 

His job as a building inspector took him to many homes and businesses over his career of 40+ years…there was one time when we were visiting my Grandma Jewell that he told her keeping a very straight face, “Mom, I’ve been in every bar in Saginaw.” Not one who was quick to scold or judge, gramma replied with her renowned gentility,  “Oh, my Jack, have you?” I’m pretty sure the shared twinkle in their eyes  revealed both humor and love behind the irony of his claim.

In my column last week, I briefly touched on our experience with dementia and my dad. We started noticing changes in 2009 which was when we made the difficult decision to move him from the house he and mother had built together in 1953-54. It’s the only home I remember. Dad moved around a lot as a boy, his dad relocating several times in Michigan to earn a living for their growing family that eventually produced 11 children. Dad was no stranger to being poor, knowing what it meant to go hungry…making a meal stretch….being grateful for God’s provision and faithfulness to provide….and above all, by the time World War II dominated news headlines,  with him and his brothers all serving in various branches of the military, dad saw that each one returned home safely.

I think with him being the middle child of those 11, he had ample experiences that included looking up to the older siblings and helping care for the younger ones. He loved his six brothers but his affection for his four sisters was something to behold. As far as he was concerned, there was none better, and as a youngster on into my adulthood, the reciprocation of love from them to him, was noticeable every time we got together for family dinners and parties. 

In those latter years of dementia, when the ability to carry a conversation became difficult for dad, when words faded behind cloudy eyes searching to recognize loved ones and make sense of things, the last phrase he often spoke with clarity was “family is everything”. It was his parting signature goodbye each time we visited the assisted living home. It became his “go-to” words to communicate feeling loved, giving love, and acknowledging as being the most important possession in life.

Sunday, I will spend  time reflecting and reminising having my dad for just a little over 60 years of my life. There will be some tears…some laughter…a lot of smiles…all while I humbly review the fruit of the Spirit list and take personal inventory where I may be falling short harvesting the attributes so well modeled for me by a guy who found it easy to love, laugh, and be grateful for all good things from above.