The steps of a [good and righteous] man are directed and established by the LORD, And He delights in his way [and blesses his path]. Psalm 37:23 (Amplified Version)

Perhaps one of my personal favorite verses from Old Testament scripture is this one. Why? Because I firmly believe that our lives have God’s influence in the midst of making personal decisions, even when we cannot see it at the time. Often, it’s after “coming” through an experience or extended time of hardship that we can look back and say “ah, I understand the whys now…” Such is an example from my father’s life, a story he did not share with me until he was well into his 70s.

Dad served in the US Navy during World War II. He was assigned to several destroyers during the course of his service and as with many sailors, obtaining a good assignment was foremost in their thoughts. A lot of training took place aboard ships which was crucial for waging war. In one particular training exercise that lasted several weeks, dad was assigned with two other crewmen to dismantle a huge piece of equipment and reassemble it, the end result being to receive  a grade and future transfer to another ship. Dad had his sights on a particular assignment which indeed required serving aboard a new ship. Together, dad and the other two men worked, and before long according to dad, it became obvious that he was the one doing the majority of the work, paying attention to detail while the other two were not as serious about matters concerning the exercise. When the final inspection and grades were given, dad received the highest score but the other two men  got the coveted transfer to the ship dad had his eyes on to further his career with the Navy.

Instead of accepting the outcome with grace, dad admitted to me he became angry, bitter, and very prideful. He allowed the circumstances produced by the exercise’s outcome to consume him to the point of being taken aside by a commanding officer who told him to basically “get your head out of your ____”….the turning point in the story is when I saw my dad’s eyes fill with tears. By now, as he’s relating this war memory with me for the first time I’ve heard it, he very quietly said, “God saved my life by not allowing me to get that assignment”. Weeping by now, he told me that the very ship those men transferred to–the one he had coveted to serve on–had been sunk and all perished.

My living room was silent for a few minutes when he had finished his heartbreaking recall of that moment, a man in his early 20s, not yet married to my mom, though engaged. But, soon, the silence surrounding both of us was broken again when he continued with an additional component of the story. It wasn’t only that God had protected him, God also used the experience to teach dad another important lesson.

It was during one of his leaves, coming home to Michigan, that he expressed to his father “I sure was lucky not to be on that ship”. Grandpa had a temper. Anyone who knew Clarence didn’t escape that fact. In the heat of fathering an adult son, grandpa declared to dad “Boy! Luck has nothing to do with it. Your mother’s on her knees til 2 and 3 in the morning praying for you and your brothers. I don’t want to hear the word luck ever again in this house!”

Mind you, as I think deeper into the story of dad’s miraculous fate escaping death, another miracle is  when he got scolded for using the word “luck”, the tongue lashing came from a father who was not yet a Christian. Yet, God used the faithfulness of my grandma’s prayer life to witness truth to him and though I don’t know the full background of my gramp’s own conversion, he received salvation at the age of 55 or so.

Every person alive has a twisted path of life. Some of us will endure hardships while others will be shielded from similar harsh situations. When faced with obstacles or deep disappointments, we have a decision to make–accept that someone greater than us is in control, someone who sees ahead on the path where our natural eyes are unable to focus in great blurriness which clouds our vision. Like my dad, we can allow ourselves to be consumed by anger and bitterness, or simply breathe and let go and wait to understand the whys and hows of arriving on the other side of seemingly great adversity.

Dad’s recollection of a very upsetting time in his young life left him with important lessons. He learned about failure, about allowing emotions to rule his thoughts, about yielding life to God’s path and not his own. 

He also told me that since his scolding from a time in the 1940s, sitting in the comfort of the family home, he never used the word “luck” again … .and you know what? I don’t use that word either. Lesson learned. 

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. (Romans 8: 28 New Living Translation)