Last week I wrote about my woes concerning my annual attempt at having a few small vegetable plants to enjoy fresh produce from “dirt to table” so-to-speak. So far, the majority of my plants are still thriving under days of heat and rain. I’ve had–and continue to have–a bountiful harvest of dill. Those voluntary plants are turning out to be the best producers and will be most welcome in meals this fall and winter. I’m learning how to properly dry herbs, too,  which gives me a great source of joy!

Sitting here to write, nursing an irritating summer cold, I was drawn to my thoughts about my grandmother’s garden. My dad told me that from the time he could remember back to his own childhood, she had her vegetable garden which not only provided fresh food for her meals but also served as a training ground to teach each child responsibilities … .planting, watering, weeding. I recall my dad telling me one time how “Sadie Jewell’s Garden” was the envy of nearby housewives. When paying a visit it wasn’t uncommon for one of the women to compliment grandma on the beauty and health of her garden, always asking “what’s your secret, Sadie?” I can hear her soft gentle voice reply “Oh, a little manure mixed in the watering bucket every once in a while does the trick….” Dad always laughed when he told that part of the memory. Sure, manure helps plants grow nicely and living on a farm provided a lot of this “free” fertilizer, but he and everyone in the family who knew Sadie knew better. It was her prayers. She was a strong woman of faith who had much to pray about raising 11 children over a span of years. Filling hungry bellies was a need that often went before the Lord during her 2 am prayer time so it was only natural she’d pray over her seedlings as she strolled through the garden.

I also am thinking about another garden, the one we read about in the book of Genesis. I was curious about the number of times God called something He created as “good”. On Day 1 it was “light”. Day 3 He called dry land and seas and plant life “good”. Light and darkness came on Day 4. Birds and fish came on Day 5. Day 6 gave us living creatures on the earth and His declaration that “everything” He had made was Good. In fact, in verse 31 of Chapter 1 he expanded His pleasure by calling all He had made as “very good”. The only thing He didn’t call “good” was that man (Adam) should not be alone, so He created a woman to be his mate. 

I love the simplicity of reflecting on a beautiful memory from my dad’s own childhood about his mother’s vegetable garden. I marvel at the beauty and complexity of God’s own garden which He created in six days. Both gardens took time, needed tending, and both were considered “good”. God’s garden became a lush home for our first family, providing them everything they needed. My grandmother’s garden was very small in comparison to Eden, nonetheless God saw her efforts, heard her prayers for a bountiful harvest, and honored her with “goodness” from hands that toiled, lugged buckets of water, sometimes with a little manure mixed in….so she could stand back, wipe dirty hands in her apron and declare “my, my, my, ain’t that a beautiful sight to see?”  as she gazed at pumpkin plants, beans, corn, tomatoes, potatoes….all grown with small helping hands and a lot of early morning prayers.

The 4th of July is now behind us and for me I’ve always thought of it as marking the halfway point through summer in regard to time between school years, vacations yet to be taken, and waiting for gardens to begin producing their bounty for fresh eating or preservation. Admittedly, I’m an adequate to moderate gardener. Each year I look forward to working up the soil in our raised beds and an area behind our garage that is suitable for tomato plants and squash. I get excited when my little seeds begin to pop through the dirt and starter plants begin to flourish. On those mornings that aren’t too hot, I water and weed where needed.  And I continue to wait for the plants to grow.

This year we have our usual tomato plants along with two squash from seeds I saved from last fall. They’re doing quite nicely. We also enjoy green bell peppers and green beans so those were planted as well. This year I found kohlrabi at a local nursery which I put in between the beans and peppers. Beets are slowly germinating, radishes have done very well with each planting. Voluntary dill plants have crowded out the lettuces in our hot bed but I’m not complaining. When something reseeds I am most pleased! I even found a potato plant that sprouted behind the garage and is now quite the clump of foliage so I’m anticipating a nice little bucket of potatoes come late summer early fall.

I love the bounty of gardens. I don’t like weeds–who does–and I get downright frustrated with critters who get in and enjoy themselves from the fruit of MY labor. This is especially true for flowers and shrubs we have as perennials in our yard. The deer ate every bud on lily plants. They chomped on hostas as well as the day lilies next to our front porch. Also showing signs of total destruction is a moonflower shrub under bedroom windows. Each stem looks like a pair of hedge clippers went through to “top off” each one at the same height. A few weeks ago “someone” pulled out a geranium from its pot along with several smaller plants next to it. Two bird feeders have been stolen, not having been found!

As much as I want to, I cannot control the creatures that come visit our yard to see what’s currently on the menu. So, when I see any destruction, I take my moment to breathe a heavy sigh and see what I can do to continue trying to grow a few fresh vegetables. I take solace in the fact that my few plants didn’t break the budget to purchase and there’s always my favorite plan B–shop at local farmers’ markets for the produce I love and enjoy. (I can’t imagine the level of despair and concern small farmers endure at the mercy of critters who invade!)

My seemingly feeble attempts to garden remind me of being under God’s care. Years ago He planted a seed of faith in me that needed to be tended, watered, fed, and nurtured. As my master gardener, He has and continues to provide all that I need in order to maintain healthy growth and ward off all “weeds” of sin or attacks from satan. He has given me His Word, which is the Bible. He gifted me with the Holy Spirit to guide, teach, correct, and bring life to my flesh when it is tired, worn out, heavy laden with concerns. Unlike me who is unable to see “who” is coming to munch on my garden plants, He is all knowing and sees everything, fully aware of any weapon being formed against me and He is faithful to place a shield of protection around me.

Does the Bible have anything to say about gardening? It does: Read what Isaiah has to say in verse 11 of chapter 58: The LORD will guide you always; He will satisfy your needs in a sun scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.”

This week I reached a dry patch for about 48 hours. My soul needed refreshment and encouragement. To keep from drying up or giving up I did a few things. First, I stayed connected to God by reading scripture and listening to solid teaching. I reached out to a trusted friend and asked her to pray for me, admitting how I was feeling and the whys behind the dampened emotions. Consequently, like plants looking more vibrant after a good watering, my emotions leveled out again, replaced by renewed joy.

Any good gardener knows that our plants and flowers need diligent attention. So it is with our spiritual growth, our emotional well being. Left alone, we will dry up. We may even be swallowed up by the weeds of life that will crouch and overtake if not properly removed. I leave you with this final thought from Psalm 104:14-21: 

“You cause the grass to grow for the cattle, and plants for people to use, to bring forth food from the earth, and wine to gladden the human heart, oil to make the face shine, and bread to strengthen the human heart”. 

I love that the Bible has verses about gardening to encourage me and you. It’s time to water my small garden!

Standing on your 12 step ladder, you are now on the last rung. The effort of climbing each rung has allowed you to go higher and higher with each step, gaining and maintaining your sure footedness with each movement of your legs and feet, hands gripping the sides of the ladder to balance your body. You have reached your final goal but the work you’ve set out to do isn’t finished. You have:

• Admitted powerlessness over addictions
• Came to believe in a power greater than ourselves
• Made a decision to turn our lives over to God
• Searched ourselves
• Admitted our exact wrongs
• Ready to have God remove defects in our character
• Asked God to remove our shortcomings
• Made a list of people to make amends to and carry it out
• Continued to take inventory of wrongs
• Improve our contact with God

And now, Step 12, “Having had a spiritual experience as the result of these steps, we try to carry this message to others and practice these principles in all our affairs”. How do we accomplish this? In Celebrate Recovery not only do we have 26 lessons to teach, we have testimonies from our group and across the country, those individuals who have completed a Step Study and write “their story” of life before recovery and after working these steps. One of my favorite stories of transformation comes from Jeff Stultz, Founder & National Director of Broken Chains which is a fellowship of motorcycle bikers who “have hope and healing in Jesus Christ through the Christ Centered Recovery process helping others to realize that change is possible”. Jeff’s early life included:

• Drug & alcohol addiction
• A father who mentally abused him, physically abused Jeff’s mother
• Engaged in violent behavior leading to his involvement in bike clubs for 15 years
• Robbing drug dealers at gunpoint
• Caused his parents to go bankrupt from lending him money and use of credit cards to support his drug addiction (they thought they were investing in his business)
• Meeting Preacher Biker Doc Ray who invited him to church and on April 22, 2007 having an encounter with Jesus Christ
• Introduced to Celebrate Recovery by new friends Jim & Deb

For the rest of Jeff’s incredible story, you can watch and listen on YouTube. Either type his name in the search box or use this link: youtu.beSVUzmDlxi2g?si=lxjJblbxlLZDlWaX

Jeff’s testimony and countless others in Celebrate Recovery tell of redemption, healing, hope, and restoration–all through Jesus Christ. In our own group we have several men who are celebrating victory over pornography use, gambling, drugs and alcohol. We have women learning how to heal from past sexual trauma(s), living as a codependent wife to an alcoholic husband, men and women learning healthy coping skills when anxiety takes over an otherwise clear mind. Some of our stories are very dramatic, others seem quite minimal when comparing childhood homes, experiences, and relationships that shape us. One thing we all have in common is our desire to be better, to be more healthy, to be set free from our own “chains” keeping us from all of the latter.

This past week, our church family heard one of our elders share “his story”. The majority of us had no idea that this wonderful man, who loves and serves God with a beautiful heart, had an addiction to alcohol until a few years ago. His willingness to be open and honest during his message was a clear example of being willing to share God’s redemptive work to repair a shattered life. I sat in awe as I listened but I also had to ask myself “I wonder how many people in these chairs have “something” they’ve kept secret, too’, a habit or sin that is driving decisions versus surrendering those things to God in order to become whole.

Step 12 is all about hearing from others how recovery works. In order to hear, there must be listeners. Our meetings average about 25 in attendance each week. I am thankful for EVERY person who makes it to our meetings, but honesty and selfishly, I know that not only in my church family or the community of Fowlerville as a whole, if more men and women would embrace Step 1, admitting powerlessness over addictions and compulsive behaviors, we’d see transformation in our families that would astound the world around us in our homes, our workplaces, our social gatherings, our schools, businesses–everywhere we spend our time.

Jeff Stulz spent 15 years living in two motorcycle clubs. He now spends his time traveling our country speaking to groups, helping Celebrate Recovery groups, running a successful business, spending time with his wife and a daughter who reconciled with him following his ability to make amends to her for all the heartache he had put her through. By the way, if you’ve watched the movie “Home Run”, Jeff plays the role of the umpire!

If you didn’t know Jeff, if you met him on the street, you may cower in fear and cross to the other side. I’ve met Jeff, and I can tell you he oozes Jesus and he gives the best hugs! He still looks like a biker, but he rides for a greater purpose now! That’s what God does, He doesn’t erase our past; He turns it into a new road–the road to recovery!

Still have questions? Email me at: celebraterecovery@fowlervilleub.org Want to talk in person? That can be arranged, too. We have male and female leaders willing to give of their time. You can call 517.223.9490 and leave a message for me with our staff. Someone from our team will gladly call you.

Goodness, in explaining and describing the 12 Step program of Celebrate Recovery, we have arrived at Step 11. “We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, praying only for knowledge of His will for us, and power to carry that out”. There’s a lot to unpack in this sentence, however, a word I’d like to focus on is “conscious”, or in other words, having an awareness of one’s environment and one’s own existence, sensations, and thoughts. To look a bit further into what it means to be aware, I looked online at several sites to read about our conscious and subconscious minds. The information I liked best comes from berkeleywellcoming.com.

What Is The Subconscious? Our subconscious is all the activity in our brains that occurs without our realizing it (Malim & Birch, 1998). This includes not just thoughts and feelings, but also the activity of your brain as the control center for your body, such as its signals that make your body successful in things as basic as breathing and as complex as parallel parking a car or improvising on the guitar. In other words, the subconscious is both things we do not realize we are doing and also thoughts and feelings we do not realize we have.​

Subconscious vs Conscious Mind: In contrast to the subconscious mind, our conscious mind is all the thinking and feeling we are aware of. We can clearly see the difference by way of example: Suppose I am at the park with friends and somebody throws a frisbee in my direction. I might have some conscious thoughts as the frisbee is headed my way – “Do I know this person?” “Is it rude to stop the conversation I’m having?” “Will the frisbee hit my friend if I don’t catch it?” – But once I consciously decide that I want to catch the frisbee, it is subconscious mental processes that will guide my body through the motions of catching the frisbee.

So, how does this apply to being instructed to engage in intentional conversation with God? How do we discover what His will is for our lives? In his book “The Purpose Driven Life”, Pastor Rick Warren writes a blueprint for Christian living in the 21st century, a lifestyle based on God’s eternal purposes, not cultural values. We begin with God, our Creator. We can discover the reasons for creating each one of us. We were made BY and God and FOR God. Warren’s book helps the reader to understand how knowing God’s purpose will reduce stress, focus energy, simplify decisions, give meaning to life, and, most important, prepare us for eternity. 

So, to accomplish a good relationship with God, there’s several things we need to consciously choose to do each day: Have a quiet time with God *Listen to Him *Plug into God’s power *Slow down *Enjoy your growth

Nothing excites me more than watching a newcomer walk into Celebrate Recovery, attend our weekly meetings, engage in the studies we offer, work the steps and slowly make positive changes that replace habits and heal hurts. Above all, it’s very thrilling to witness active and sincere connections with God through worship and a healthy prayer life. We have many men and women who exemplify the words of Colossians 3:16: “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly”.

Our brains, our minds, our emotions, thoughts, and feelings are amazing things, all created by God. The science of studying these topics is very intriguing to say the least and doing so requires much time and dedication. So it is with God and scripture. We can’t begin to know or understand who God is and what His plans are for each one of us if we merely spend time occasionally with Him. That’s why the importance of daily time reading, praying, and listening give us hope, peace, healing, and a greater purpose beyond what our culture may try dictating to us!

Last week I wrote about the ability to make a list of every person we had harmed and a willingness to make amends or in other words, apologize to them for your wrongdoings. This week we focus on Step 9 which states: “We made direct amends to such people whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others”. With our list in hand, some more hard work begins. Along with our “list”, we have another tool to help us when making amends, it’s the gift of grace which comes from God. Grace is a gift, it cannot be bought. It’s freely given by God to you and me. When we offer (give) our amends and expect nothing back, that’s a gift from us to those whom we have hurt.

Making amends can be done in person or in the form of a letter if a relationship is too toxic yet to be face-to-face. In the case of a loved one or friend being deceased, there’s the empty chair method which is sitting across from an empty chair and imagining the person is facing you. Though it may seem awkward or weird to actually talk out loud to someone who is actually not present, there’s power in the process, because when we speak out loud, those things that satan tries to hold over us, has no power because God hears and forgives as we go through the amends process. 

A face-to-face apology simply means taking the time needed to tell the other person you’re sorry for anytime or anything you know hurt them and the relationship.

By writing a letter, you can take time to make simple statements that describe how you’re aware you hurt someone.

When I was ready for Step 9 I actually employed all three approaches when making my amends. Both my parents are deceased, therefore, I used the empty chair method. I have one relationship that is not healthy to this day, so I used a block of time to privately confess to God my own wrongdoings as well as forgive him. I chose to write letters to our children as I knew they both process information best in privacy; I also wrote to my oldest brother with whom I had a troublesome relationship that spanned many years. I was able to talk face-to-face with my second brother and the results were wonderful. No matter the approach taken, we offer our amends without expecting anything in return. Specifically, we don’t want to hear cliche responses like “Oh, you weren’t that bad” or “What you said to me really didn’t hurt me”. 

What we often find in Celebrate Recovery is that most of us weren’t taught how to develop open and honest communication in our relationships. Thus, we often make excuses for someone’s behavior even at the cost of our own feelings. And again, as I stated above with hearing cliche responses, they are defense mechanisms used when a person may be uncomfortable. It’s because “they” may not know how to react or respond due to their own ways of dealing with tough stuff.

This is why I love Celebrate Recovery. It has helped me develop my own “voice” in ways that are real, open, and laced with grace. For many things I may have let slide over the years, I’ve learned I can say “no” or “please don’t say or do that” and not feel guilty about how the other person feels. For instance, for whatever reason, I do not like the nickname Suzy-Q. You can call me Sue, Susie, or Suz but I detest Suzy-Q. For a long time if someone called me that, I’d merely ignore it and continue the conversation or change the subject. Now when it happens, I graciously say “please don’t call me that, it’s a nickname I have never enjoyed”. No one has ever misunderstood or questioned my request.

Going back to how our amends can either be acknowledged or ignored, one of my greatest gifts from making amends came from my oldest brother whom I had written to as part of my inventory. He never mentioned my letter when we chatted on the phone or saw each other at family parties. Several years ago he became very ill and in the course of three months a rare form of brain cancer took his life. I cherish the afternoon I spent alone with him in his room where he was under care. He couldn’t carry on much conversation as he was heavily medicated for pain. But, there was a moment where Dave reached his hand out to mine, held tightly and whispered “I love you”. At that moment, I knew that we were “good”. God’s grace had been poured out into the room making reconciliation complete.

In the Book of Matthew we read from chapter 5 verses 23-24 these words: “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.”. As always, when we see the word “therefore”, it’s beneficial to read the verses that come before the content. In prior verses, Matthew has recorded what Jesus had to say about dealing with anger in relationships. The entire chapter is worth reading and I encourage you to do so!

Finally, an ongoing benefit of making amends for our past wrongdoings, lays a new foundation moving forward in all of our relationships. The ability to quickly apologize and say I’m sorry in the moment, far outweighs ignoring our actions and believing to let them go unattended. Again–and I cannot stress or encourage this trait too much–the ability to be open and honest in our relationships is SO healthy for all concerned regardless if it’s our spouse, children, family members, employers or co-workers, even complete strangers!

Once you have completed Step 9 you will experience a new freedom and a new happiness. You will comprehend the word serenity and know peace!

LOVE INCLUDES SAYING YOU’RE SORRY

Good or bad, I’m a product of the 70’s…actually graduating from high school in 1971. One of “our” iconic movies was “Love Story” starring Ryan O’Neal and Ali McGraw.

A catchphrase made popular from this romantic love story is “love means never having to say sorry”. In its context, movie goers embraced this scripted line, and now some 50 plus years later, those familiar with the film can quote this infamous line without a second thought. As touching as these words are, do they contain truth when it comes to a healthy relationship? In a world within cleverly written movie scripts, perhaps so. In the confines of creating and building healthy relationships between people, no.

Step 8 in the recovery process tells us: “We made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.” And, the scripture verse that accompanies this step–often referred to as the “golden rule” comes from Luke 6:30: “Do to others as you would have them do to you”.

Saying “I’m sorry” did not come easy for me from childhood up until I chose to enter the recovery process through Celebrate Recovery. Though I had very loving parents, saying “I’m sorry” wasn’t something that was modeled with great intention. My mom was rather stoic–perhaps due to her German ethnicity–my dad was very easy going and didn’t look for ways to upset anyone whether they be family or friends. So, a simple act of making an apology for things other than bumping into someone in the store, turning away someone trying to purchase a ticket to a sold out performance, was foreign to me.

But, I don’t want to run ahead of Step 8. In this step the person merely makes a “list” of ALL people they know they have harmed and a willingness to apologize. For some, the column of names will be short. Others may be quite extensive. Both are done under the guidance of God’s Holy Spirit. It’s recommended that a person begin compiling their list starting with parents–after all, that’s our point of origin. Then siblings are added, friends, co-workers, employers, teachers, etc. Although this step doesn’t indicate it, in addition to writing down each person’s name and their relationship, we write in another column how we actually harmed them. 

When I was a kid we often barked at someone who had just called us an unpleasant name with “sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me”. Now that I’m an adult I have come to the reality how absolutely untrue and absurd that statement is when dealing with conflict. When I was in the 5th grade I needed to get eye glasses. Not many others in my grade wore them; I had the unfortunate privilege of being called “four eyes”. It caused embarrassment and anger then and even though years later I’ve had lasik surgery and reduced the power of my prescription for reading glasses alone, my anger from age 10 is a memory and a hurt I’ll not forget. In retaliation, I’m most certain I said my fair share of unkind things to my neighborhood friends and classmates as well. Our childhood experiences take us into adulthood where often we use the same methods of communication in family and/or work relationships. So, as we compile our list of those we have harmed, by being willing to be honest about our own behavior, we are making progress towards our next step which is learning how to properly apologize and “clear the air”, which is Step 9 and the subject of my next column.

An added bonus to this step is learning and accepting to recognize with greater awareness when you have “hurt” someone which puts a damper on your relationship with that person. By recognizing a moment of acting out in a negative character flaw, you can actually make a U-turn and change hurt feelings into reconciliation, healing, and healthier conversations.

Luke’s words that we commonly call the “golden rule” are so easy to hear but I’m willing to wager that most of us have not always put in practice what he’s admonishing us to do when we are with family, friends, co-workers, posting comments on social media, interacting with the public, etc. In his 1988 bid for the U.S. Presidency George H.W. Bush was quoted as calling for a “kinder, gentler nation”. I love that, it exemplifies how I feel and though it’s 36 years later I still remember it was he who spoke them. 

This week, June 11, at Celebrate Recovery we are hosting a BBQ for our group and anyone who’d like to check out the ministry. Our meal begins at 6 pm, followed by several short testimonies from several of our own local  leaders. We are also launching the children’s portion of Celebrate Recovery for ages kindergarten through 5th grade. Parents will remain with the adults while the children enjoy their own lesson and activities. For more information please email: celebraterecovery@fowlervilleub.org 

We meet every Tuesday, at Fowlerville United Brethren in Christ Church, 9300 W. Grand River, Fowlerville. 

“Pride makes us artificial and humility makes us real” (Thomas Merton)

I honestly don’t know anything about Mr. Merton other than what a quick search online told me about who he was. One area of renown for him was his achievement becoming an influential American Catholic author in the 20th century. Regardless of his education and understanding of theology compared to my own, the above quote ties in perfectly with Step 7 from the recovery program. This step reads: “We humbly asked Him to remove all our shortcomings”.

I’ve met a lot of people in my life who truly struggle with being humble. Pride is very much a stronghold in we humans and I’ve witnessed my fair share of that character trait as well. Even false humility can be disturbing behavior when it’s being used as a mask to make ourselves appear to be something we are not. Embracing humility as a virtue has additional rewards such as what Proverbs 11: 2 tells us: “With humility comes wisdom”.

When folks attend a Celebrate Recovery meeting for a calendar year, they will hear about 26 lessons. Lesson number 1—which is taught at the beginning of January–is titled “Denial” and addresses our need to sincerely stop denying that we have a problem, an addiction, a destructive behavior wrecking our emotional and/or physical health, or damaging our relationships with others. Coming out of denial can be tied to becoming humble along the road to recovery, thus we reach a point when evaluating our lives that we are recognizing our “shortcomings” defined as a fault, failure to meet a certain standard, typically in our character. 

I had a high school friend who became a lawyer. When I met “B” in high school, though I liked him for his humor and talents, he had a tendency to be very arrogant, sarcastic, argumentative, and enjoyed making others look foolish. Some of his traits may have appeared to be perfect for litigating cases before a judge and/or jury, yet I remember when a family member of his told me about an experience where “B” thought he was the cat’s meow in a court case only to have the judge verbally shred him. I can only imagine how angry “B” became in the aftermath, yet knowing him as I did, I’m almost certain he could not or would not ever admit the judge may have made some valid points while scolding a young attorney. “B’s’ ‘ behavior, his negative traits are what we at CR mean when we begin defining our “shortcomings”. However, unlike “B” being confronted by a judge for all who were present to witness, God is a gentleman and will do necessary “scoldings’ ‘ in the privacy of our prayer life with Him. Now, don’t misunderstand me when I use the word “scolding” in relation to God talking to us. He doesn’t yell. He doesn’t scream. His words with us are not harsh, BUT they can and sometimes will be very direct, and will come from His heart of love and discipline towards us.  Afterall, Hebrews 12: 6 says: “For the Lord disciplines those He loves, and chastises every son He accepts.”

When we take time to truly evaluate our shortcomings in the presence of God, we receive the most powerful acts from Him which is His faithfulness to forgive and to purify us from all unrighteousness! I don’t know about you, but those words which come directly from 1 John 1: 9 give me hope and assurance as I work through recovery!

“B” and I no longer have a relationship; it was severed a few years ago after having over 50 years of friendship. He never changed from being a prideful young lawyer. Even after years of practice, achieving many possessions in life, being forced to retire sooner than he planned, his life when we parted our ways was still one accentuated by the character traits I listed above. If I were to apply Merton’s quote to “B’s” life, I could honestly say my former friend is living trapped in pride which makes me wonder, draws me to pray, what is buried so deep in his hidden emotions, his soul, that make him appear to be living a “fake” existence when God could enter and make things “real”.

I can only imagine that if “B” were ever to accept someone’s else’s wisdom, it may absolutely be the key to unlocking the door to exposing his shortcomings that are keeping him from living a more healthy, joyful life.

Ladders come in a variety of heights–6 foot, 12 foot, 24 foot, goodness–probably any size a person might care to make or purchase! Depending on the job at hand, the right size ladder may be necessary in order to get a task accomplished. Personally, I am not a fan of tall ladders and feel my best standing on solid ground or using a step stool for things that don’t require a lot of height. Why talk about ladders this week? In the 12 step program I’ve been writing about, we have reached the middle of our ladder if there are 12 rungs. This week I am focusing on Step 6 which says: “We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character”. The scripture that tags this step is from James 4: 10 “Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up.”

I’ve been around a lot of people over the course of my adult years and I can safely say I’ve met my share of men and women who struggle with humility. I’ve witnessed power struggles in the workplace as well in social circles. Part of our human nature exposes those individuals who want to be in control, using pride and selfish gain to maintain a sense of “being in charge” or “complete control”. 

By the time a person who is working on recovery gets to Step 6 the hope is that self awareness settles in to realize 1) we aren’t in total control of our lives and 2) we are “all in” to allow God to do major surgery to remove flaws in our character. Much like open heart surgery, the process will be painful, sin and habit patterns will be discovered buried deep within our minds and spirit, but precisely as a surgeon’s hands work to remove cancer from a person’s body, so it is with God. He guides His hands to lovingly and skillfully remove cancerous thoughts, habits, and destructive coping mechanisms from us. The key is we “have” to be ready. Anyone going into a surgery or medical procedure knows there will be preparation which is only temporary. Recovery participants also get ready for Step 6 by climbing the previous five rungs on their ladder which is completion of Steps 1 through 5. 

More than we desire, at Celebrate Recovery we see people come to our meeting for the first time; they are excited to learn how to overcome an addiction or destructive behavior and declare “I’m ready!” accompanied by a promise “I’ll be back!” “This is exactly what I need!” Sadly, most will return for about 4 to 6 weeks and never return. It seems our human nature that tells us to look for a “quick fix” takes control over the realization that truly changing, sincerely desiring a healthier lifestyle takes hard work which cannot be accomplished overnight or in a few weekly meetings. When this happens it’s the leadership’s intentions not to judge or criticize. Why? Because that’s what I did.

In the mid 2000’s I went to Celebrate Recovery to work on anger. I attended six weeks and dropped out because I thought I  had cured my problem. I had begun to feel better and build new ways to respond to my anger. Then, in 2016, life had thrown some hard curve balls over a three year period and I went back and have not missed many meetings unless of vacation or illness. I was ready and taking a look at my life now all the way back to the previous years leading into 2016, I am very thankful and proud of my diligence to invest “my” time every week to be part of a group that welcomes me–flaws and all–(until removed!)

One of my favorite concepts that is taught by my pastors is how Jesus doesn’t wait for us to get our act together before choosing to attend church or asking to be in relationship with Him. On the contrary, He wants “all” to come to Him regardless of circumstances that keep us from Him. Celebrate Recovery is the same. Do you use alcohol or drugs to cope with life? Do you overeat because it’s a temporary salve to soothe unwelcome emotions? Do you verbally or physically abuse your loved ones? Do you have a gambling addiction? Do you struggle with sexual integrity? Do you wonder why you are angry and unable to determine why? If you can answer yes to these or anything else that is keeping you living an empty life, Celebrate Recovery is a great place to begin investigating the “whys” behind your actions and choices for coping, learn how to repair broken relationships. 

We won’t have you climb tall ladders. You don’t have to jump through any hoops. You don’t even have to believe God exists and loves you. But, in our ministry we do and will always point to Jesus Christ as the only one who can truly promote healing from all that ails you. If that’s a concept you’re ready for, if that’s the kind of ultimate surgery you want, then there’s no preparation for that undertaking other than driving to our meeting, parking your car, and walking into a group of people ready to climb your ladder of healing with you. 

We meet every Tuesday, 7 pm, at Fowlerville United Brethren Church. All meetings are safe and wrapped in confidentiality. We have a wonderful group of people who are willing and always enthusiastic to “help lift you up” from all the burdens of life. 

Movie fans of Sylvester Stallone as a small time boxer from Philadelphia whom we came to know as Rocky, may recall that part of his training involved running, and in one scene from this 1976 iconic film we see him climb the 72 stone steps leading up to the East entrance of the Philadelphia Museum of Art in Philadelphia. That scene put the museum on the map for global fame! 

Movie producers gave us a total of 10 Rocky films which included a spin off to him becoming a trainer for a new boxer in the arena, Adonis Johnson. Each movie drew crowds. Admittedly, I know I have not seen all 10 of them even though I enjoyed the first three for sure. 

In the 12 steps we use for Celebrate Recovery, they do not physically compare to someone running up a building’s 72 steps, but effort and time spent “working” and “climbing” each step can be exhausting. Physical training drains us of energy…emotional healing often brings deep wounds from the secret place in our soul to the surface where pain is confronted for the first time. This process can only be achieved when we embrace admission that each one of us has done things that are wrong. Thus, Step 12 says: “We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs”. I’d be a liar if I told anyone that this step is easy. Afterall, our human nature tells us to keep matters private, that we can get away with wrong behavior–especially if no one is looking–or we manipulate the facts of how a situation played out for us. Even those of us who are Christ followers often forget that “nothing” is hidden from God and in addition, no matter how we might lie to ourselves, deep down truth prevails. 

Step 5 also involves partnering with someone you trust because during the process of implementing this step in recovery conversations will begin to take place as we open ourselves to reveal our wrongdoings, not to be judged, but for healing to begin. James 5: 16 is a perfect guideline for the person who is sincerely seeking to be healed emotionally, physically and spiritually. It says: “Therefore, confess your sins to each other so that you may be healed.”  In the verses preceding this one, a variety of questions are posed. Is someone among you in trouble? Is someone among you ill?

These simple questions along with their instructions form a beautiful part of Christian community which is exactly what Celebrate Recovery offers. In fact, the national leaders coined a very simple phrase years ago to describe the unity and power available to all who attend–”We are forever family”. Some who attend our meetings are so estranged from family for valid reasons, that attendees become their “family”. Folks who don’t live near immediate family have men and women who become “brothers and sisters”, creating relationships and friendships that fill gaps for them. You and I are not meant to live life alone, the fellowship and security provided by being part of CR’s “forever family” is priceless.

Very few people will bravely step into a boxing ring, yet it also takes great courage to walk through the doors for the first time to attend a recovery meeting. We often tell people “the longest walk is from your car to the doors”. Mustering courage and following through is an achievement that begins to cancel Satan’s hold on all the messes in your life whether of your own doing or unfortunate actions against you. I love what Psalm 18: 30 says: “As for God, His way is blameless. The word of the Lord is tested (it is perfect, it is faultless); He is a shield to all who take refuge in him.” (Amplified Version)

Rocky Balboa had a trainer. He had his boxing gloves to punch and shield all the hits thrown his way. We have God, the ultimate teacher and protector for all who place their trust in Him. 

If you’re tired of “being sick and tired of being sick and tired” because of the messes in your life, put on your shoes Tuesday evening, muster your courage and determine that you will walk from your car to the doors that lead to a new path of living life in the abundance God desires for you. We meet at Fowlerville UB Church, 7 pm. All adults 18 years and older are welcome!

Do you enjoy participating in a scavenger hunt? I do. In this race of time game to locate hidden clues and their answers, strategic planning and speed are the best techniques to come out as the winner. What does a scavenger hunt have to do with Step 4 in the recovery process for an individual? That’s the focus of this week’s column as I continue describing Celebrate Recovery’s 12 step program.

In Step 4 it says: “We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves”. Before I go any further to expand on this statement let’s unpack some key words. The definition of search is: try to find something by looking or seeking. To be fearless means: to be brave. A moral person is: concerned with judgment of right and wrong, conforming to the standards of right and wrong. An inventory is: a detailed, itemized list of one’s possessions. In the use of Step 4, it’s our past hurts, habits and habits that make up  “possessions”.

Psalm 51 is one of my favorites I use when sitting quietly to confess my wrongdoings to God. I especially meditate on verses 10-19 which say:

Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.

Cast me not away from your presence,and take not your Holy Spirit from me.

Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit.

The entire psalm is credited to King David after the prophet Nathan came to him and confronted him regarding his sinful relationship with Bathseba. If you aren’t familiar with the story, David had an affair with her, a married woman and they created a child together. Acknowledging his sin, David repented and his personal thoughts are recorded for us in the 19 verses of this psalm. 

I think most of us would honestly admit that we do not enjoy it when even a trusted friend approaches us to point out a character flaw or sinful habit that has us trapped in rather than facing it, admitting the stronghold that behavior may have over us, and making sincere effort to remove from our attributes. By the time recovery participants reach Step 4 they find themselves at  a crossroads…continue the hard journey and make the turn to keep pursuing health or choosing to end the quest altogether. The first option stems from being brave while the latter is rooted in fear. 

A verse that accompanies Step 4 is from Lamentations chapter 3, verse 40 which says: “Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord”. A closer look at the entire chapter reveals that whoever wrote this had personal experience being at the hand of God’s wrath. Subsequent verses describe what he endured and when we reach verse 39 a hint is given as to “why” we should examine our ways and test them and “why” we should return to the Lord. He asks this simple yet profound question: Why should the living complain when punished for their sins? 

Sin separates us from God but the good news is that when we confess our sins God is faithful to forgive and cleanse us from all unrighteousness (my paraphrase of 1 John 1:9

By completing Step 4 we are not looking to heap guilt and shame on ourselves as a result of openly admitting our wrongdoings. On the contrary, this step is one of considerable power to help in confronting our deepest wounds and hurts that have molded our personalities and behaviors.  Left in the dark, they choke us. Brought into the light of Christ, they are exposed and no longer entangle us.

I have two very dear aunts, both deceased now, that learned such a lesson when they were little girls. Their chore was to plant cucumber seeds for my grandma and the work was going quite nicely until they tired, wanting to play instead of work, so they cut their task short by throwing the last of their seeds into one last pile at the end of the row. They thought their plan was effective until one morning when grandma asked them to go for a walk.  They made their way down the garden row, giggling, holding hands, enjoying time with their mother until she brought them to a halt at the end of the row. “Would you just look at that girls? All these vines are twisted, not growing very well, quite the tangled mess. That’s how sin is. It starts out small and before you know it, if not taken care of properly, it grows bigger and bigger and isn’t of any use to anyone”.

Lesson heard, lesson learned. There were no harsh words, no scolding. Merely a loving mother who needed to teach her young daughters that taking short cuts with necessary work can lead to an unhealthy outcome. What they thought had been done in secret had been exposed and brought into the “light” to teach right and wrong.

Just as my grandmother was able to come alongside my two aunts and help them learn a lesson in order to break a habit from forming, Step 4 isn’t done alone either. By this time in the recovery process an individual has identified a trusted person to help make their inventory list, listening to them share about it without offering judgment or counsel. It’s a powerful step that produces a healthier person at this stage of the process and exemplifies the power of God’s love no matter the depth or magnitude of sin.

If God can forgive King David for all of his choices and still remain being described as a man after God’s own heart, I’m confident to declare that the same kind of love is available to you as well.