Goodness, in explaining and describing the 12 Step program of Celebrate Recovery, we have arrived at Step 11. “We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, praying only for knowledge of His will for us, and power to carry that out”. There’s a lot to unpack in this sentence, however, a word I’d like to focus on is “conscious”, or in other words, having an awareness of one’s environment and one’s own existence, sensations, and thoughts. To look a bit further into what it means to be aware, I looked online at several sites to read about our conscious and subconscious minds. The information I liked best comes from berkeleywellcoming.com.

What Is The Subconscious? Our subconscious is all the activity in our brains that occurs without our realizing it (Malim & Birch, 1998). This includes not just thoughts and feelings, but also the activity of your brain as the control center for your body, such as its signals that make your body successful in things as basic as breathing and as complex as parallel parking a car or improvising on the guitar. In other words, the subconscious is both things we do not realize we are doing and also thoughts and feelings we do not realize we have.​

Subconscious vs Conscious Mind: In contrast to the subconscious mind, our conscious mind is all the thinking and feeling we are aware of. We can clearly see the difference by way of example: Suppose I am at the park with friends and somebody throws a frisbee in my direction. I might have some conscious thoughts as the frisbee is headed my way – “Do I know this person?” “Is it rude to stop the conversation I’m having?” “Will the frisbee hit my friend if I don’t catch it?” – But once I consciously decide that I want to catch the frisbee, it is subconscious mental processes that will guide my body through the motions of catching the frisbee.

So, how does this apply to being instructed to engage in intentional conversation with God? How do we discover what His will is for our lives? In his book “The Purpose Driven Life”, Pastor Rick Warren writes a blueprint for Christian living in the 21st century, a lifestyle based on God’s eternal purposes, not cultural values. We begin with God, our Creator. We can discover the reasons for creating each one of us. We were made BY and God and FOR God. Warren’s book helps the reader to understand how knowing God’s purpose will reduce stress, focus energy, simplify decisions, give meaning to life, and, most important, prepare us for eternity. 

So, to accomplish a good relationship with God, there’s several things we need to consciously choose to do each day: Have a quiet time with God *Listen to Him *Plug into God’s power *Slow down *Enjoy your growth

Nothing excites me more than watching a newcomer walk into Celebrate Recovery, attend our weekly meetings, engage in the studies we offer, work the steps and slowly make positive changes that replace habits and heal hurts. Above all, it’s very thrilling to witness active and sincere connections with God through worship and a healthy prayer life. We have many men and women who exemplify the words of Colossians 3:16: “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly”.

Our brains, our minds, our emotions, thoughts, and feelings are amazing things, all created by God. The science of studying these topics is very intriguing to say the least and doing so requires much time and dedication. So it is with God and scripture. We can’t begin to know or understand who God is and what His plans are for each one of us if we merely spend time occasionally with Him. That’s why the importance of daily time reading, praying, and listening give us hope, peace, healing, and a greater purpose beyond what our culture may try dictating to us!

Last week I wrote about the ability to make a list of every person we had harmed and a willingness to make amends or in other words, apologize to them for your wrongdoings. This week we focus on Step 9 which states: “We made direct amends to such people whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others”. With our list in hand, some more hard work begins. Along with our “list”, we have another tool to help us when making amends, it’s the gift of grace which comes from God. Grace is a gift, it cannot be bought. It’s freely given by God to you and me. When we offer (give) our amends and expect nothing back, that’s a gift from us to those whom we have hurt.

Making amends can be done in person or in the form of a letter if a relationship is too toxic yet to be face-to-face. In the case of a loved one or friend being deceased, there’s the empty chair method which is sitting across from an empty chair and imagining the person is facing you. Though it may seem awkward or weird to actually talk out loud to someone who is actually not present, there’s power in the process, because when we speak out loud, those things that satan tries to hold over us, has no power because God hears and forgives as we go through the amends process. 

A face-to-face apology simply means taking the time needed to tell the other person you’re sorry for anytime or anything you know hurt them and the relationship.

By writing a letter, you can take time to make simple statements that describe how you’re aware you hurt someone.

When I was ready for Step 9 I actually employed all three approaches when making my amends. Both my parents are deceased, therefore, I used the empty chair method. I have one relationship that is not healthy to this day, so I used a block of time to privately confess to God my own wrongdoings as well as forgive him. I chose to write letters to our children as I knew they both process information best in privacy; I also wrote to my oldest brother with whom I had a troublesome relationship that spanned many years. I was able to talk face-to-face with my second brother and the results were wonderful. No matter the approach taken, we offer our amends without expecting anything in return. Specifically, we don’t want to hear cliche responses like “Oh, you weren’t that bad” or “What you said to me really didn’t hurt me”. 

What we often find in Celebrate Recovery is that most of us weren’t taught how to develop open and honest communication in our relationships. Thus, we often make excuses for someone’s behavior even at the cost of our own feelings. And again, as I stated above with hearing cliche responses, they are defense mechanisms used when a person may be uncomfortable. It’s because “they” may not know how to react or respond due to their own ways of dealing with tough stuff.

This is why I love Celebrate Recovery. It has helped me develop my own “voice” in ways that are real, open, and laced with grace. For many things I may have let slide over the years, I’ve learned I can say “no” or “please don’t say or do that” and not feel guilty about how the other person feels. For instance, for whatever reason, I do not like the nickname Suzy-Q. You can call me Sue, Susie, or Suz but I detest Suzy-Q. For a long time if someone called me that, I’d merely ignore it and continue the conversation or change the subject. Now when it happens, I graciously say “please don’t call me that, it’s a nickname I have never enjoyed”. No one has ever misunderstood or questioned my request.

Going back to how our amends can either be acknowledged or ignored, one of my greatest gifts from making amends came from my oldest brother whom I had written to as part of my inventory. He never mentioned my letter when we chatted on the phone or saw each other at family parties. Several years ago he became very ill and in the course of three months a rare form of brain cancer took his life. I cherish the afternoon I spent alone with him in his room where he was under care. He couldn’t carry on much conversation as he was heavily medicated for pain. But, there was a moment where Dave reached his hand out to mine, held tightly and whispered “I love you”. At that moment, I knew that we were “good”. God’s grace had been poured out into the room making reconciliation complete.

In the Book of Matthew we read from chapter 5 verses 23-24 these words: “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.”. As always, when we see the word “therefore”, it’s beneficial to read the verses that come before the content. In prior verses, Matthew has recorded what Jesus had to say about dealing with anger in relationships. The entire chapter is worth reading and I encourage you to do so!

Finally, an ongoing benefit of making amends for our past wrongdoings, lays a new foundation moving forward in all of our relationships. The ability to quickly apologize and say I’m sorry in the moment, far outweighs ignoring our actions and believing to let them go unattended. Again–and I cannot stress or encourage this trait too much–the ability to be open and honest in our relationships is SO healthy for all concerned regardless if it’s our spouse, children, family members, employers or co-workers, even complete strangers!

Once you have completed Step 9 you will experience a new freedom and a new happiness. You will comprehend the word serenity and know peace!

LOVE INCLUDES SAYING YOU’RE SORRY

Good or bad, I’m a product of the 70’s…actually graduating from high school in 1971. One of “our” iconic movies was “Love Story” starring Ryan O’Neal and Ali McGraw.

A catchphrase made popular from this romantic love story is “love means never having to say sorry”. In its context, movie goers embraced this scripted line, and now some 50 plus years later, those familiar with the film can quote this infamous line without a second thought. As touching as these words are, do they contain truth when it comes to a healthy relationship? In a world within cleverly written movie scripts, perhaps so. In the confines of creating and building healthy relationships between people, no.

Step 8 in the recovery process tells us: “We made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.” And, the scripture verse that accompanies this step–often referred to as the “golden rule” comes from Luke 6:30: “Do to others as you would have them do to you”.

Saying “I’m sorry” did not come easy for me from childhood up until I chose to enter the recovery process through Celebrate Recovery. Though I had very loving parents, saying “I’m sorry” wasn’t something that was modeled with great intention. My mom was rather stoic–perhaps due to her German ethnicity–my dad was very easy going and didn’t look for ways to upset anyone whether they be family or friends. So, a simple act of making an apology for things other than bumping into someone in the store, turning away someone trying to purchase a ticket to a sold out performance, was foreign to me.

But, I don’t want to run ahead of Step 8. In this step the person merely makes a “list” of ALL people they know they have harmed and a willingness to apologize. For some, the column of names will be short. Others may be quite extensive. Both are done under the guidance of God’s Holy Spirit. It’s recommended that a person begin compiling their list starting with parents–after all, that’s our point of origin. Then siblings are added, friends, co-workers, employers, teachers, etc. Although this step doesn’t indicate it, in addition to writing down each person’s name and their relationship, we write in another column how we actually harmed them. 

When I was a kid we often barked at someone who had just called us an unpleasant name with “sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me”. Now that I’m an adult I have come to the reality how absolutely untrue and absurd that statement is when dealing with conflict. When I was in the 5th grade I needed to get eye glasses. Not many others in my grade wore them; I had the unfortunate privilege of being called “four eyes”. It caused embarrassment and anger then and even though years later I’ve had lasik surgery and reduced the power of my prescription for reading glasses alone, my anger from age 10 is a memory and a hurt I’ll not forget. In retaliation, I’m most certain I said my fair share of unkind things to my neighborhood friends and classmates as well. Our childhood experiences take us into adulthood where often we use the same methods of communication in family and/or work relationships. So, as we compile our list of those we have harmed, by being willing to be honest about our own behavior, we are making progress towards our next step which is learning how to properly apologize and “clear the air”, which is Step 9 and the subject of my next column.

An added bonus to this step is learning and accepting to recognize with greater awareness when you have “hurt” someone which puts a damper on your relationship with that person. By recognizing a moment of acting out in a negative character flaw, you can actually make a U-turn and change hurt feelings into reconciliation, healing, and healthier conversations.

Luke’s words that we commonly call the “golden rule” are so easy to hear but I’m willing to wager that most of us have not always put in practice what he’s admonishing us to do when we are with family, friends, co-workers, posting comments on social media, interacting with the public, etc. In his 1988 bid for the U.S. Presidency George H.W. Bush was quoted as calling for a “kinder, gentler nation”. I love that, it exemplifies how I feel and though it’s 36 years later I still remember it was he who spoke them. 

This week, June 11, at Celebrate Recovery we are hosting a BBQ for our group and anyone who’d like to check out the ministry. Our meal begins at 6 pm, followed by several short testimonies from several of our own local  leaders. We are also launching the children’s portion of Celebrate Recovery for ages kindergarten through 5th grade. Parents will remain with the adults while the children enjoy their own lesson and activities. For more information please email: celebraterecovery@fowlervilleub.org 

We meet every Tuesday, at Fowlerville United Brethren in Christ Church, 9300 W. Grand River, Fowlerville. 

“Pride makes us artificial and humility makes us real” (Thomas Merton)

I honestly don’t know anything about Mr. Merton other than what a quick search online told me about who he was. One area of renown for him was his achievement becoming an influential American Catholic author in the 20th century. Regardless of his education and understanding of theology compared to my own, the above quote ties in perfectly with Step 7 from the recovery program. This step reads: “We humbly asked Him to remove all our shortcomings”.

I’ve met a lot of people in my life who truly struggle with being humble. Pride is very much a stronghold in we humans and I’ve witnessed my fair share of that character trait as well. Even false humility can be disturbing behavior when it’s being used as a mask to make ourselves appear to be something we are not. Embracing humility as a virtue has additional rewards such as what Proverbs 11: 2 tells us: “With humility comes wisdom”.

When folks attend a Celebrate Recovery meeting for a calendar year, they will hear about 26 lessons. Lesson number 1—which is taught at the beginning of January–is titled “Denial” and addresses our need to sincerely stop denying that we have a problem, an addiction, a destructive behavior wrecking our emotional and/or physical health, or damaging our relationships with others. Coming out of denial can be tied to becoming humble along the road to recovery, thus we reach a point when evaluating our lives that we are recognizing our “shortcomings” defined as a fault, failure to meet a certain standard, typically in our character. 

I had a high school friend who became a lawyer. When I met “B” in high school, though I liked him for his humor and talents, he had a tendency to be very arrogant, sarcastic, argumentative, and enjoyed making others look foolish. Some of his traits may have appeared to be perfect for litigating cases before a judge and/or jury, yet I remember when a family member of his told me about an experience where “B” thought he was the cat’s meow in a court case only to have the judge verbally shred him. I can only imagine how angry “B” became in the aftermath, yet knowing him as I did, I’m almost certain he could not or would not ever admit the judge may have made some valid points while scolding a young attorney. “B’s’ ‘ behavior, his negative traits are what we at CR mean when we begin defining our “shortcomings”. However, unlike “B” being confronted by a judge for all who were present to witness, God is a gentleman and will do necessary “scoldings’ ‘ in the privacy of our prayer life with Him. Now, don’t misunderstand me when I use the word “scolding” in relation to God talking to us. He doesn’t yell. He doesn’t scream. His words with us are not harsh, BUT they can and sometimes will be very direct, and will come from His heart of love and discipline towards us.  Afterall, Hebrews 12: 6 says: “For the Lord disciplines those He loves, and chastises every son He accepts.”

When we take time to truly evaluate our shortcomings in the presence of God, we receive the most powerful acts from Him which is His faithfulness to forgive and to purify us from all unrighteousness! I don’t know about you, but those words which come directly from 1 John 1: 9 give me hope and assurance as I work through recovery!

“B” and I no longer have a relationship; it was severed a few years ago after having over 50 years of friendship. He never changed from being a prideful young lawyer. Even after years of practice, achieving many possessions in life, being forced to retire sooner than he planned, his life when we parted our ways was still one accentuated by the character traits I listed above. If I were to apply Merton’s quote to “B’s” life, I could honestly say my former friend is living trapped in pride which makes me wonder, draws me to pray, what is buried so deep in his hidden emotions, his soul, that make him appear to be living a “fake” existence when God could enter and make things “real”.

I can only imagine that if “B” were ever to accept someone’s else’s wisdom, it may absolutely be the key to unlocking the door to exposing his shortcomings that are keeping him from living a more healthy, joyful life.

Ladders come in a variety of heights–6 foot, 12 foot, 24 foot, goodness–probably any size a person might care to make or purchase! Depending on the job at hand, the right size ladder may be necessary in order to get a task accomplished. Personally, I am not a fan of tall ladders and feel my best standing on solid ground or using a step stool for things that don’t require a lot of height. Why talk about ladders this week? In the 12 step program I’ve been writing about, we have reached the middle of our ladder if there are 12 rungs. This week I am focusing on Step 6 which says: “We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character”. The scripture that tags this step is from James 4: 10 “Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up.”

I’ve been around a lot of people over the course of my adult years and I can safely say I’ve met my share of men and women who struggle with humility. I’ve witnessed power struggles in the workplace as well in social circles. Part of our human nature exposes those individuals who want to be in control, using pride and selfish gain to maintain a sense of “being in charge” or “complete control”. 

By the time a person who is working on recovery gets to Step 6 the hope is that self awareness settles in to realize 1) we aren’t in total control of our lives and 2) we are “all in” to allow God to do major surgery to remove flaws in our character. Much like open heart surgery, the process will be painful, sin and habit patterns will be discovered buried deep within our minds and spirit, but precisely as a surgeon’s hands work to remove cancer from a person’s body, so it is with God. He guides His hands to lovingly and skillfully remove cancerous thoughts, habits, and destructive coping mechanisms from us. The key is we “have” to be ready. Anyone going into a surgery or medical procedure knows there will be preparation which is only temporary. Recovery participants also get ready for Step 6 by climbing the previous five rungs on their ladder which is completion of Steps 1 through 5. 

More than we desire, at Celebrate Recovery we see people come to our meeting for the first time; they are excited to learn how to overcome an addiction or destructive behavior and declare “I’m ready!” accompanied by a promise “I’ll be back!” “This is exactly what I need!” Sadly, most will return for about 4 to 6 weeks and never return. It seems our human nature that tells us to look for a “quick fix” takes control over the realization that truly changing, sincerely desiring a healthier lifestyle takes hard work which cannot be accomplished overnight or in a few weekly meetings. When this happens it’s the leadership’s intentions not to judge or criticize. Why? Because that’s what I did.

In the mid 2000’s I went to Celebrate Recovery to work on anger. I attended six weeks and dropped out because I thought I  had cured my problem. I had begun to feel better and build new ways to respond to my anger. Then, in 2016, life had thrown some hard curve balls over a three year period and I went back and have not missed many meetings unless of vacation or illness. I was ready and taking a look at my life now all the way back to the previous years leading into 2016, I am very thankful and proud of my diligence to invest “my” time every week to be part of a group that welcomes me–flaws and all–(until removed!)

One of my favorite concepts that is taught by my pastors is how Jesus doesn’t wait for us to get our act together before choosing to attend church or asking to be in relationship with Him. On the contrary, He wants “all” to come to Him regardless of circumstances that keep us from Him. Celebrate Recovery is the same. Do you use alcohol or drugs to cope with life? Do you overeat because it’s a temporary salve to soothe unwelcome emotions? Do you verbally or physically abuse your loved ones? Do you have a gambling addiction? Do you struggle with sexual integrity? Do you wonder why you are angry and unable to determine why? If you can answer yes to these or anything else that is keeping you living an empty life, Celebrate Recovery is a great place to begin investigating the “whys” behind your actions and choices for coping, learn how to repair broken relationships. 

We won’t have you climb tall ladders. You don’t have to jump through any hoops. You don’t even have to believe God exists and loves you. But, in our ministry we do and will always point to Jesus Christ as the only one who can truly promote healing from all that ails you. If that’s a concept you’re ready for, if that’s the kind of ultimate surgery you want, then there’s no preparation for that undertaking other than driving to our meeting, parking your car, and walking into a group of people ready to climb your ladder of healing with you. 

We meet every Tuesday, 7 pm, at Fowlerville United Brethren Church. All meetings are safe and wrapped in confidentiality. We have a wonderful group of people who are willing and always enthusiastic to “help lift you up” from all the burdens of life. 

Movie fans of Sylvester Stallone as a small time boxer from Philadelphia whom we came to know as Rocky, may recall that part of his training involved running, and in one scene from this 1976 iconic film we see him climb the 72 stone steps leading up to the East entrance of the Philadelphia Museum of Art in Philadelphia. That scene put the museum on the map for global fame! 

Movie producers gave us a total of 10 Rocky films which included a spin off to him becoming a trainer for a new boxer in the arena, Adonis Johnson. Each movie drew crowds. Admittedly, I know I have not seen all 10 of them even though I enjoyed the first three for sure. 

In the 12 steps we use for Celebrate Recovery, they do not physically compare to someone running up a building’s 72 steps, but effort and time spent “working” and “climbing” each step can be exhausting. Physical training drains us of energy…emotional healing often brings deep wounds from the secret place in our soul to the surface where pain is confronted for the first time. This process can only be achieved when we embrace admission that each one of us has done things that are wrong. Thus, Step 12 says: “We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs”. I’d be a liar if I told anyone that this step is easy. Afterall, our human nature tells us to keep matters private, that we can get away with wrong behavior–especially if no one is looking–or we manipulate the facts of how a situation played out for us. Even those of us who are Christ followers often forget that “nothing” is hidden from God and in addition, no matter how we might lie to ourselves, deep down truth prevails. 

Step 5 also involves partnering with someone you trust because during the process of implementing this step in recovery conversations will begin to take place as we open ourselves to reveal our wrongdoings, not to be judged, but for healing to begin. James 5: 16 is a perfect guideline for the person who is sincerely seeking to be healed emotionally, physically and spiritually. It says: “Therefore, confess your sins to each other so that you may be healed.”  In the verses preceding this one, a variety of questions are posed. Is someone among you in trouble? Is someone among you ill?

These simple questions along with their instructions form a beautiful part of Christian community which is exactly what Celebrate Recovery offers. In fact, the national leaders coined a very simple phrase years ago to describe the unity and power available to all who attend–”We are forever family”. Some who attend our meetings are so estranged from family for valid reasons, that attendees become their “family”. Folks who don’t live near immediate family have men and women who become “brothers and sisters”, creating relationships and friendships that fill gaps for them. You and I are not meant to live life alone, the fellowship and security provided by being part of CR’s “forever family” is priceless.

Very few people will bravely step into a boxing ring, yet it also takes great courage to walk through the doors for the first time to attend a recovery meeting. We often tell people “the longest walk is from your car to the doors”. Mustering courage and following through is an achievement that begins to cancel Satan’s hold on all the messes in your life whether of your own doing or unfortunate actions against you. I love what Psalm 18: 30 says: “As for God, His way is blameless. The word of the Lord is tested (it is perfect, it is faultless); He is a shield to all who take refuge in him.” (Amplified Version)

Rocky Balboa had a trainer. He had his boxing gloves to punch and shield all the hits thrown his way. We have God, the ultimate teacher and protector for all who place their trust in Him. 

If you’re tired of “being sick and tired of being sick and tired” because of the messes in your life, put on your shoes Tuesday evening, muster your courage and determine that you will walk from your car to the doors that lead to a new path of living life in the abundance God desires for you. We meet at Fowlerville UB Church, 7 pm. All adults 18 years and older are welcome!

Do you enjoy participating in a scavenger hunt? I do. In this race of time game to locate hidden clues and their answers, strategic planning and speed are the best techniques to come out as the winner. What does a scavenger hunt have to do with Step 4 in the recovery process for an individual? That’s the focus of this week’s column as I continue describing Celebrate Recovery’s 12 step program.

In Step 4 it says: “We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves”. Before I go any further to expand on this statement let’s unpack some key words. The definition of search is: try to find something by looking or seeking. To be fearless means: to be brave. A moral person is: concerned with judgment of right and wrong, conforming to the standards of right and wrong. An inventory is: a detailed, itemized list of one’s possessions. In the use of Step 4, it’s our past hurts, habits and habits that make up  “possessions”.

Psalm 51 is one of my favorites I use when sitting quietly to confess my wrongdoings to God. I especially meditate on verses 10-19 which say:

Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.

Cast me not away from your presence,and take not your Holy Spirit from me.

Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit.

The entire psalm is credited to King David after the prophet Nathan came to him and confronted him regarding his sinful relationship with Bathseba. If you aren’t familiar with the story, David had an affair with her, a married woman and they created a child together. Acknowledging his sin, David repented and his personal thoughts are recorded for us in the 19 verses of this psalm. 

I think most of us would honestly admit that we do not enjoy it when even a trusted friend approaches us to point out a character flaw or sinful habit that has us trapped in rather than facing it, admitting the stronghold that behavior may have over us, and making sincere effort to remove from our attributes. By the time recovery participants reach Step 4 they find themselves at  a crossroads…continue the hard journey and make the turn to keep pursuing health or choosing to end the quest altogether. The first option stems from being brave while the latter is rooted in fear. 

A verse that accompanies Step 4 is from Lamentations chapter 3, verse 40 which says: “Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord”. A closer look at the entire chapter reveals that whoever wrote this had personal experience being at the hand of God’s wrath. Subsequent verses describe what he endured and when we reach verse 39 a hint is given as to “why” we should examine our ways and test them and “why” we should return to the Lord. He asks this simple yet profound question: Why should the living complain when punished for their sins? 

Sin separates us from God but the good news is that when we confess our sins God is faithful to forgive and cleanse us from all unrighteousness (my paraphrase of 1 John 1:9

By completing Step 4 we are not looking to heap guilt and shame on ourselves as a result of openly admitting our wrongdoings. On the contrary, this step is one of considerable power to help in confronting our deepest wounds and hurts that have molded our personalities and behaviors.  Left in the dark, they choke us. Brought into the light of Christ, they are exposed and no longer entangle us.

I have two very dear aunts, both deceased now, that learned such a lesson when they were little girls. Their chore was to plant cucumber seeds for my grandma and the work was going quite nicely until they tired, wanting to play instead of work, so they cut their task short by throwing the last of their seeds into one last pile at the end of the row. They thought their plan was effective until one morning when grandma asked them to go for a walk.  They made their way down the garden row, giggling, holding hands, enjoying time with their mother until she brought them to a halt at the end of the row. “Would you just look at that girls? All these vines are twisted, not growing very well, quite the tangled mess. That’s how sin is. It starts out small and before you know it, if not taken care of properly, it grows bigger and bigger and isn’t of any use to anyone”.

Lesson heard, lesson learned. There were no harsh words, no scolding. Merely a loving mother who needed to teach her young daughters that taking short cuts with necessary work can lead to an unhealthy outcome. What they thought had been done in secret had been exposed and brought into the “light” to teach right and wrong.

Just as my grandmother was able to come alongside my two aunts and help them learn a lesson in order to break a habit from forming, Step 4 isn’t done alone either. By this time in the recovery process an individual has identified a trusted person to help make their inventory list, listening to them share about it without offering judgment or counsel. It’s a powerful step that produces a healthier person at this stage of the process and exemplifies the power of God’s love no matter the depth or magnitude of sin.

If God can forgive King David for all of his choices and still remain being described as a man after God’s own heart, I’m confident to declare that the same kind of love is available to you as well. 

Preparing this week’s article allowed me to reflect that it’s been just over a year that I’ve had the privilege to be given space each week to write on a variety of topics. I’m grateful for those of you who have let me know how much you enjoy my writings, giving me positive encouragement, letting me acknowledge how you smile, chuckle at something I wrote about, or were encouraged in response to a topic with Christian perspective. By now, you’ve hopefully come to realize my passion for the gospel, the truth of who God is and the validity of scripture. Having said all that, “thank you” for taking time to read each week’s thoughts. Also, by now, I hope you’re fully aware of my role in Celebrate Recovery and what this faith based 12 step program can do for you as it has done for me. 

This week, I’m focusing on Step 3: “We made a decision to turn our lives and our wills over to the care of God”. The verse that accompanies this step is from Romans 12:1: “Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God–this is your spiritual act of worship.”

Whenever there is a “therefore” in scripture, it’s prudent to look at the preceding verses to see what the writer is focused on when making the transition. In this case, Paul is writing to explain how God gave mercy through Christ, a Jew, to the Jewish people–the Israelites–and though many of them lived in disobedience to Him Paul goes on to explain that the Gentiles are now also included in this “disobedient” group, not to punish but that He (God)  may have mercy on them “all”. (Rom. 11: 32) Chapter 11 ends with these questions: “Who has known the mind of the Lord?” “Or who has been His counselor?” “Who has ever given to God, that God should repay them?”  For from Him and through Him and for Him are all things. (Emphasis mine) 

Our family lightheartedly adopted a small catchphrase we use when it’s clear a choice or decision has been made–”you’re in charge of your choices”. It may have been as simple as allowing our children as toddlers to choose their clothing for the day (no matter how mis-matched they were) or how we make numerous decisions every day regarding use of our time, what foods we will eat, which social invitations to accept or reject, to exercise or not. Other decisions carry more weight. Will I forgive someone who has deeply hurt me? Will I join my friend in telling a lie to cover up an indiscretion? Will I help that person whose struggles have been tugging at my purse strings for several days?

While daily decisions come and go, often made out of routine habits, Step 3 teaches us that a decision to “commit all my life and will to Christ’s care is a “conscious” one that requires thought, discovering who God is through the person of Jesus Christ, and digging into all scripture to know His character and deep love for everyone. The last part of this step is a bonus I hope you don’t miss–”Christ’s care and control”. If you were to imagine holding out your hands with palms facing up, holding “every” care and concern that is weighing you down, with  an ability empowered by “an act of your own will”,  releasing the pile in your hands to God, you’ll get a picture of allowing Him to take those and carry them for you.

Each step in the Celebrate Recovery program has an accompanying verse from the beatitudes recorded in the Book of Matthew. For Step 3 we use “Happy are the meek” (Matthew 5:5) What does it mean to be “meek”?

To be meek is to be gentle, humble, lowly. “The meek are the ‘gentle’… those who do not assert themselves over others in order to further their own agendas in their own strength, but who will nonetheless inherit the earth because they trust in God to direct the outcome of events.” ESV Study Bible notes.

John Gill’s  commentary seems to assert this – meek people don’t envy, don’t retaliate, and exercise patience in the face of adversity. 

Matthew Henry adds that the meek show joy and happiness under dire circumstances. No matter what happens in the world around them, they latch on to God’s provision and plan for their lives. 

The opposite of meekness is defined by Merriam-Webster  as egotistic, pompous, haughty, and aggressive. Through this, we see a different picture of meekness. It isn’t a doormat mentality or silence in the face of injustice. Instead, it doesn’t retaliate when wronged and doesn’t exude pride and narcissism. The type of person most people would think would rule the earth likely exhibits some of the traits listed above. At least, it fits the bill for the Roman emperors during the time of Jesus. (source: biblestudytools com) 

It’s estimated that over 5-7 million people have benefited from attending Celebrate Recovery meetings. More So than folks entering a Christ centered recovery program, Christianity is growing!  This may surprise many, but Christianity is growing around the world and is growing faster than the rate of population. From 2020 to the mid-point of 2024, the world’s population is expected to grow from more than 7.84 billion people to more than 8.11 billion, a 0.87% growth trend. The number of Christians worldwide is expected to climb from more than 2.52 billion to 2.63 billion, a 1.08% growth. The Christian population is projected to top 3 billion before 2050. (source: lifewayresearch.com)  That EXCITES me! This growth tells me a couple of things 1) the gospel is indeed being preached and spread 2) people are making decisions to come into a relationship with the living God through His Son, Jesus Christ.

The numbers above are huge. It’s hard for me to imagine a million people let alone billions, but I CAN comprehend being among those who are counted as Christ followers as well as ONE who made my own conscious decision 40+ years ago, placing my trust in Him. Yet, admitting my inability to fully comprehend how God takes on the enormous task of caring for every person who makes up His followers, I have experienced “releasing my cares to Him” and that’s a feeling that keeps me living in boundaries of faith and hope when life gets hard. My own experiences are now a prayer, too, that more of you will join us on Tuesday evenings at Celebrate Recovery. We meet at Fowlerville UB Church with a meal at 6 pm. Large group begins at 7, followed by share groups at 8. For more information please email: celebraterecovery@fowlervilleub.org 

GOD, THE ULTIMATE FIXER-UPPER

The advent and popularity of “do-it-yourself” and “fixer upper” television shows have broadened my appeal for watching amateurs or professionals take a dilapidated or older home and turn it into a stunning new residence. When I was a child I often accompanied my dad to properties that were being demolished as he was the first person I ever knew who found a way to “repurpose” lumber, fixtures, windows, etc. that otherwise would have made their way to the city dump. In the past few years, I’ve watched my oldest adult niece find pieces of furniture on curbsides, take them home and with a lot of elbow grease, sanding, repairing and applying a fresh coat of stain or paint, she’s turned someone else’s discarded trash into beautiful pieces that have been sold to new homes. I guess you could say that “restoring” and “repurposing” is a generational trait in my family!

Such it is with God, too!

Last week I wrote about Step #1 from the Celebrate Recovery program, stating our admission that compulsive behaviors or addictions cause our lives to become unmanageable. In Step #2 we “came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity”. I think we all know the opposite of being sane, which is insane, further popularized by the definition of “doing something over and over again expecting a different result”. That repetitive behavior is a character flaw of our human nature. Left to our own devices, we will most certainly fail.

When my dad or niece have restored a broken piece of furniture, sometimes a different method was used to repair wood that had lots of scratches, missing pieces or several layers of paint full of cracks and wrinkles. I remember when a downtown fourier business in Saginaw suffered a fire, my dad was allowed to go into the building and look around the debris. He spied a washstand that had all its pieces intact, but the top portion of the mirror frame was scorched from the flames. He literally carried the washstand home under his arms. Using his woodworking skills he reassembled the stand, made new pieces, stripped away the old stain and applied fresh color when the wood was ready. He even salvaged the marble slab that was part of the stand and this beautiful antique was part of their living room for many years. In order to retain a “piece of its story”, he left the blackened portion of the mirror’s frame, a reminder of what the washstand had endured as well as an interesting focal point for conversation.  Although the washstand no longer served its  original purpose of holding a wash basin, it became the perfect place for a lamp that served as a “night light” in the late hours of the evening. 

God is in the business of “restoring” and “repurposing” our lives, too. Paul wrote in Philippians 2:13 “For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose”. If we imagine and admit that sometimes our lives are broken, that they are messy, and for some people, hopeless, we CAN come to Him for the renewal we need. The beauty of Celebrate Recovery is that we who attend meetings are there because we want to rather than someone demanding our attendance. Most who attend gladly acknowledge that Jesus Christ is the higher power that the 12 Step programs talk about in their meetings. Yet, no one is ever forced to believe in Jesus to be part of this wonderful recovery program. An invitation to know God and come into relationship with Him is always offered and the majority of men and women who attend weekly meetings are followers of Christ.

Another piece of furniture my dad brought home was a huge heavy sideboard cabinet. He had made an inspection visit to a home one morning and noticed the cabinet. It was made from solid cherry wood, was in very poor condition and to his dismay dirty soiled diapers were piled on its counter area. Dad was able to ask the homeowners if they would be willing to part with the sideboard, asked them to discuss a fair price and give him a call at his office. He was shocked when they told him he could have it for “free”. Apparently, they had attached no sentiment or value to the item. After cleaning it up, stripping it and refinishing the wood, it became a dining room piece in my parents home for years until my brother took it for his own home. Dad had a piece of marble that he was able to fit on that sideboard, too. He always seemed to find free treasures and have just the right stuff at home in his woodshop to complete a project. That’s how God works, too. 

He has all the right circumstances and pieces to put us back together when we’ve allowed life’s hurts, habits and hangups to wear us down, strip us of our original beauty, or thwart our purpose. He can accomplish renewal and restoration for us by Himself or use others as part of the plan which is another beautiful aspect of Celebrate Recovery. Although we work on our own “stuff”, we have friends who listen, encourage, support, pray, but never try to “fix” us. He may allow us to be “refined” by going through His fire, and like the scorched wood of my dad’s antique wash stand, also give permission for visible scars to remain and be a reminder of His handiwork. 

Writing this week’s article allowed me to fondly recall the numerous things my dad brought home to “fix” rather than see it go to the dump. Some things DO belong in the trash, but not everything. That’s the way it is for us humans, too. Many habits are trashed. Hurts need to be talked about. Hang ups need to be redirected. And to make that possible, we make a decision to tap into the Higher Power of Jesus Christ!

Invaders.

Along with the arrival of spring which brings warmer weather, the ability to open windows to enjoy fresh air comes with an added disadvantageous feature. The arrival of “invaders”. In our case it’s seeing more spiders in corners than usual, the seemingly ever-present box elder bugs, stink bugs, the what I call “lady bug wanna-bes”, and most recently, ants. While all of these are not welcome guests in our home, I most detest the ants because they come out of nowhere, they scurry across the kitchen counter or floors in search of a morsel. It seems no matter how well we clean up our messes, these outside inhabitants prefer to see what our cupboards have to offer.

Recently, I counted squishing about 12 ants in the kitchen before the day was over. Finding one or two isn’t enough to cause me alarm, but when their numbers increase I go on the defense. Thankfully, doing a search online has given me numerous homemade recipes that trap our lil visitors, feed their hungry bellies and they either succumb or take the “bait” back to the nest like the good sharers they are, and bingo! By feeding their friends my “potion” the colony dies and my ant problem is solved.

If only cleaning up my own behavior were so easy. I know that by being a Christ follower my Heavenly Father desires that I live a godly life. Therefore, Paul’s words from Romans 8: 13-14 serve as nourishment for my hungry spirit—“For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God.”

Furthermore, in 1 Corinthians 10:13 Paul writes—“No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful, He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

Contrasting how I’m catching ants with a tasty trap to rid them from our home to that of how God desires to remove unwanted behavior or the presence of poor habits in my life is pause for reflection. Thankfully, God doesn’t have to “trick” me into biting into His word which is the holy bible. When I or you come into relationship with Him He plants a desire in our spirit to crave reading scripture, talking and listening to Him, and merely once a day but to “pray without ceasing… give thanks in all circumstances….” (Paraphrased from 1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18)

In the 12 step program which we use at Celebrate Recovery #1 states “We admitted we were powerless over our addictions and compulsive behaviors, that our lives had become unmanageable.”

Ants come into our house looking for food. They have no ability to comprehend their presence is unwelcome. Like other creatures, they are acting on instinct. I, on the other hand, and you—as humans—are the only beings that know right from wrong, have a conscience, and freewills. Unfortunately, for some, poor choices can lead to a life of addiction and behavior choices that destroy everything around us such as relationships, workplace stress, even physical illness.

Because Celebrate Recovery relies heavily on the validity of scripture, a verse from the beatitudes accompanies Step 1. It says: “Happy are those who know that they are spiritually poor.” (Matthew 5: 3a)

Happy? Not miserable? Yes, happy, in the sense that partnering admitting our powerlessness with acknowledging that we can be spiritually poor gives us the power and motivation to change when we truly surrender egos, pride and a need to be in control over to God.

Unlike the pesky bugs that I have described as “invaders as being a nuisance, it’s a wonderful concept that God WANTS to invade our minds and hearts. Over time, our relationship with Him grows as His Holy Spirit waters and feeds our daily thoughts, actions, and circumstances.

Aren’t you happy that He doesn’t trick us into coming to Him? On the contrary, the answers and solutions most of us are seeking can be found easily. They are contained in all of scripture. When we dine, when we feast, when we digest its contents and “share” the treasures with others, we all thrive.

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Celebrate Recovery meets every Tuesday, beginning at 7 pm, at Fowlerville UB Church. If you’re ready to find out how to begin a new way of dealing with lifes’ hurts, habits & hangups, check us out!