“I love you.”

Meet Betty. She’s a woman in her 50s who had a deep love for Christ and a passion to mentor young people. When I first met her she was serving as a volunteer for Teen Challenge in Saginaw. Young men who had fallen into addictions and numerous encounters with the judicial system could enter their program for a last chance approach to finally be free from whatever chains were holding them back from being clean and productive members of society. The house wasn’t large, home to less than a dozen at a time, and the ministry’s rules kept everyone under one roof with strict guidelines for daily living. Everything that was taught or activities to rebuild broken emotions and bodies centered on the Gospel. 

It was game night. Probably a Friday. The boys were scattered around the living room playing a variety of board games. Betty was there to help serve snacks and supervise. She loved taking on the role of “mom” or “grandmother” to these young men and getting to know them through conversations was important to her time with them every week. It didn’t take her long to get acquainted with the boys’ personalities and how to communicate on their level. Except for John.

No matter how hard Betty tried to connect with John she often failed. He wasn’t like the others. Her corny jokes or inquiries about his week didn’t penetrate his sameness and cold exterior. She felt as though she was letting John down. That’s when she turned to God and prayed “let me reach John, Lord. What can I do?”

Not knowing if God had been silent to answer her prayer and still feeling desperate on a usual Friday evening of games, as she scurried past John heading to the kitchen, she tapped his shoulder and whispered softly “I love you.”

John didn’t flinch. His posture didn’t change from being touched. He remained sullen and non-emotional after the brief encounter. Betty went about her duties serving snacks. At the end of her “shift” she went home.

I met Betty when I was new in my own faith walk. Sadly, I don’t recall all the details of our meeting but I recall it was centered around Teen Challenge and an invitation from a co-worker to learn about their ministry. It was during one of our times together that Betty relayed the story about John. Betty’s story with John didn’t end when she left her shift the evening she spoke those tender words  “I love you”. John finished out his time at Teen Challenge, graduated and reentered life to find a career. As with most of the boys, she’d never hear from or see them again.

Until one evening, several years later, Betty was home, sitting and reading. That’s when the telephone rang.

“Hello?”

“Betty?”

“Yes, this is Betty.”

“Hi, Betty. I don’t know if you’ll remember me. It’s John. From Teen Challenge.”

Betty searched her memories. John? It was easy to remember the boys who were vivacious and easy. Was John one of those?

“It’s okay if you don’t remember me,” the voice said quietly. “I remember you. And I’ve never forgotten the night you told me you ‘loved me’.

Now it was coming back to Betty. John. The John who she thought she had failed. The John who had a hard time being happy or capable of carrying on any form of conversation. Was this the John she had often worried about?

“Betty, I want you to know I’m doing great. I’m married and I have a family. And, Betty? You want to know something? I’m a pastor. And Betty? There’s something else. Before I met you no one had ever told me they loved me. But you did. I’ve never forgotten that or you. So, Betty? I just wanted you to know, ok?”

Betty hung up the receiver and allowed herself to be swallowed up by quiet and awe which now filled her living room. Tears streamed down her face as she recounted her experience with me. It had been several years between John’s phone call and making our acquaintance. She could recall every detail with beautiful clarity. She may have forgotten about John for awhile but God’s providence reconnected them, giving her another testimony to stand in the test of time.

Why did Betty share this story with me and others who were making a commitment to join a prayer group for Teen Challenge in Saginaw? Because, in her own words, “don’t ever underestimate the smallest of gestures to bring Christ’s love and hope to a young person who is hurting”. 

Having Betty cross my path happened over 40 years ago. I’m sure she’s no longer with us, enjoying heaven now and celebrating the fruits of her labors and the powerful effects of her three small words “I love you.”

And, John? Only the Lord knows where he may be today. Hopefully, his ministry thrived and he helped fill up heaven a bit more because of a changed life that heard a call to become God’s servant behind a pulpit and in the communities he lived. 

John had experienced a touch from the Master through a middle aged woman who didn’t let her fear of failure stop her from trying to reach a quiet, sullen unhappy young man. John took  his “I love you” and turned it into “Jesus loves you” with each sermon he wrote. 

Our world is full of “Johns”. We need more “Bettys.”  I’m thankful I met Betty and that I learned about John. Her testimony of simply speaking “love” into someone’s life helped me to focus on becoming an encouragement too, especially to those who appear lonely, sad, or not interested in “life”. 

—-

Betty’s story about John in Teen Challenge is true. Her love and passion for young people along with her ability to be kind in all situations helped inspire me years later when I began writing a weekly blog “The Art of Nyce”. I don’t recall exactly when, but my husband and I coined the phrase “how hard is it to be nice?” We came up with this question after witnessing how our own small gestures of kindness were received, especially in awkward or tense situations. So, Betty, “thank you”. Your example launched a young woman’s own desire to give kindness and not worry about the weight behind the measure of love carrying it along.