In two days we will board a plane in New York and make the long flight to Israel. It will be our trip of a lifetime if you don’t count a 3 day cruise to the Bahamas in 1999 that was totally off my radar plans. So, we’ve done the hard part of saving every dollar we could find for the last 18 months or so. Everything is paid. The company handling our time in the Holy Land has taken care of all the necessary booking arrangements. Items we need have been purchased. New clothes will help fill our suitcases. The clock is slowly ticking away the last hours as we do final preparation to be gone for 11 days. What am I doing? I’m cleaning the house.

Why is it, that when we women are going to leave our home for any length of time we go to tireless degrees to make sure it’s clean. So far today I’ve washed two loads of laundry, cleaned both bathrooms, swept the hardwood floor and as part of doing up the dirty dishes in the sink I found myself washing the top of the refrigerator! Now mind you, the fridge needs attention and I usually do wash it monthly, but why today of all days for goodness sake? It’s the 19th of March and I’m doing a job I normally reserve for another day on the calendar!

I also put away the last of my snowmen decor. It was time. My husband has been patient long enough being greeted by my whimsical guys in almost every room in the house. Plus, I figure because we return April 1 that by all rights snowmen need to make way for tulips, daffodils and other beautiful spring flowers!

As I was going about my cleaning chores I was pleasantly reminded of a Bible verse that speaks to the temporary of my life. Hebrews 13:14 says “For this world is not our permanent home; we are looking forward to a home yet to come”. When I get too full of worrisome thoughts or pondering the ills of our current culture, this verse gives me a lot of comfort. Factor in the awesome opportunities we will have  walking the same sites that Jesus did! My mind is barely able to comprehend the anticipation of all the sights, smells and sounds waiting for us as we visit different cities and sites. So, if all of this so exciting (and it is!) why am I cleaning? I think it’s because as women we like things “right”. We enjoy everything being in its “rightful place”. And, additionally–for me anyway–I want to come home from a long trip and not have to pour myself into daily chores until I’ve had time to recoup and acclimate to being home.

As I’m preparing for a trip to another country, there’s another goal for me remember, the anticipation of my “home yet to come”. There is no doubt I will see and experience places that Jesus walked, but my future home is where I really belong and is an assignment God wants me to prepare using great care and hope. Matthew 6:33 says “Seek first the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” Right now I’m pretty happy with what I have. Our home is safe, warm, furnished with beautiful things that have deep meaning. Dust accumulates and dirt finds it way in, but with a little bit of effort and the right supplies it’s not long before surfaces are shiny and clean. I think getting ready for heaven is a little bit like cleaning house. With the right supplies–God’s Word and prayer–I’m staying clean and ready. As clean as anyone can anyway considering that none of us is perfect.

I’ll continue to read God’s Word and pray. I’ll imagine my “home yet to come”. In addition, in the meantime–I’ll continue cleaning when necessary. Even get to the top of the fridge because I don’t know how long I have until I trade this house for my Home.

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This 2018 summer is not the season that I had desired nor anticipated.  As winter gave way to a beautiful spring I found myself in a usual state of excitement longing for warm days that would allow me to get outside for long walks, runs and bike rides. The month of May was a beautiful month of emotional preparation and then my thorn in the flesh dared to stab me, and ultimately brought all my well-intentioned exercise plans to a screeching halt. In mid May a recurring issue with lower back pain came back to redirect my aspirations.

I found myself nursing my aches and pains with home remedies, a lot of rest and admittedly not doing much physical activity at all, even relying on over the counter pain medication to get through some of my days. In the month of June I was scheduled to ride 100 miles on my bike to raise money to support cancer research that benefits children. I think I rode about 20 miles total–my body was not up to the demand of being on my bike.

A second bout with my back pain took me to my family physician who listened to my concerns, prescribed a muscle relaxer, gave me an order for physical therapy and advised I not ride my bike until my body was healed. The thought of giving up bicycling was not news I wanted to hear, however, I accepted it. Off to a local physical therapy office I went where it was confirmed by the staff doctor–“no more bike riding….” I COULD however, continue to walk and exercise based on knowing my “limits”. So, for the months of June through late July, I was in therapy three times a week for a total of 8 weeks.

Each week during that time period brought new or unexpected results. On most of those days and weeks I still battled pain in my lower hip or the middle of my back which extended up through the neck. As I was learning and doing all my required stretches I found a few good days where indeed I was able to enjoy a walk, complete with a bit of running along my route. I wanted to remain determined and purposeful with my exercise in order to feel good, sleep well, and have good emotional health too. The hard days made me feel very low, questioning if I’d EVER feel better, EVER have a pain free day. I felt robbed and cheated from the summer I had envisioned, yet in all of this I was also determined not to become bitter or resentful towards my body or with God. Many mornings in my time with Him I cried out for healing, asked “Why, Father?” or sat in silence as I longed to be free from this thorn.

Physical therapy visits stopped in late July. August is almost behind me and so is my achy back. I have improved immensely and while I will wait  to investigate a new bike (which includes a proper “fit”) I have resumed walks, yoga, stretches, and even some running. I’m having more good days versus bad, for which I am thankful.

In addition to reflecting on what I have perceived as a “loss” I must also admit to the “gains” I received. In the course of being less active,, which gave me more time to sit quietly with God, I was able to ask some questions of Him that relate to my emotional healing, and true to His Word, He was faithful. Those reflective questions and answers are for my ears alone, but important to note here their significance in understanding the summer I was given rather than the one I planned and selfishly thought I deserved.

Now, as summer 2018 fades into the cool and beautiful shades of fall, I am looking forward to several weeks of good weather to be outside doing all of my favorite activities. I’ll have plenty of time to reflect back on the challenging weeks I encountered as well as remain grateful for new lessons I learned.

Without apology, I enjoy  using social media–specifically Facebook. It’s a platform to stay connected with family members and friends, mostly those who live in nearby cities or out-of-state. My media account also allows me to “post” something about my day or convey thoughts that I ponder from time to time. Almost always, my posts  receive many comments–positive or negative–some of which cause me to churn and mull over MORE thoughts and opinions. My churn was activated yesterday after reading one of the comments directed at a post I had made earlier in the day.

I had posted that on a morning walk with our granddaughter, age 3, her insistence closing the openings of numerous ant hills that we found. I attempted to explain the importance of the tiny openings, but to no avail. She was adamant, using her little index finger to gently move the sand over each opening.

My post received several comments, the majority recalling childhood memories of stomping on ant hills to flatten them. One mom who commented to me, outlined how she’s teaching her child NOT to stomp on ant hills, that they are God’s creatures, comparing the ants to people–‘would you like to be stomped on?’

Words have power. Proverbs 21:23 states “Those  who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity”.  In tandem I love what Proverbs 31:26 says as well, “She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.”

Words love. Words encourage. Words hurt. Words wound. Words instruct. Words speak louder than our actions. Words “stomp”. Words “flatten”. Maybe we stomp  from a place of anger or sheer pleasure. What if we took a daily inventory of our words? This is a principle I have learned from being in recovery for my hurts, habits and hangups, all under the teachings and principles of Celebrate Recovery.

I know that ants are resilient little creatures. The small ones down the road will unite, join forces and reopen/rebuild the tiny doors to their homes. That’s a Godly form of teamwork placed within them that can be a HUGE example to us humans as we encounter setbacks in life whether they be expected or caught off guard.

I know that with God’s help I can be resilient too. My daily goal is to be more like Him than the previous day. I do that by reading scripture, listening to His voice through the Holy Spirit, praying, and surrounding myself with like-minded friends who speak words of love, affirmation, encouragement, and instruction into my life. They are the same friends who help me “reopen” an area of my life that was hurt or damaged. And, just as important, remind me when I’ve been the one to “stomp” on someone who did not deserve the lashing.

This past weekend our lead pastor spoke about interruptions and how God can use them or WILL use them for His purpose. Experiencing occasional interruptions on any given day is not unusual for me, but to be honest with you–I don’t respond to them very well. I like my time . I like order to my day. I like being  in charge of my day.  Yet, having confessed that particular shortcoming of mine, I also need to contradict myself and admit that I DO like interruptions–when they are from God. In fact, this morning during my quiet time of reading and prayer I asked God to interrupt me today. Faithful that He is, He did.

About 9 am I was in the process of preparing my breakfast and had my IPhone on the edge of the kitchen counter. All it took was a small nudge from my elbow and the phone landed in the sink, in a pan with a small amount of water in it.  Just enough to cover the bottom of the phone where the charging and headphones ports are located. That misfortunate mishap that lasted less than 5 seconds became a major interruption to my morning.

I stayed calm. I reached out to our daughter who is employed by AT&T. She gave me a couple of tips, neither of which fixed my issue so I made a trip to the nearest  repair facility she recommended. $95 later my phone is back to optimum performance.

The repair took less than an hour which was plenty of time for me to do some continuing research on a scripture verse. I chose Genesis 1:1 to compare in three different versions and find the definitions of “beginning”, “God”, “created”, “heavens” and “earth”. My findings are the topic of another blog entry, but I will leave you with this to ponder. The Hebrew word for “created” is bara’ (Strong’s #1254) It means “brought concept or object into being from previously non-existent material”. I was sitting in the mall food court when I read that and I almost squealed with delight. Wow…’previously non-existent material’….what an interruption! what a concept to meditate on and journal in my notebook.

Am I pleased that I spent $95 that wasn’t part of today’s budget? No. Am I thrilled about an interruption that gave me time to discover the definition of but ONE word in a scripture that has caused decades of debate? Absolutely.

When I asked God to interrupt me today, I really meant “maybe someone needs to hear an encouraging word from me..let me give you some wise counsel” kind of break in my day’ or “ask me about the hoodie I’m wearing that bears the logo Celebrate Recovery’. Nope. He needed to humble me with a financial trip to a repair shop in order to discover riches in the meaning of a simple yet profound word.

Two lessons today. Do not set a phone near sources of water. God is able to make something out of nothing.

Put a group of men and women in a room and inevitably as each begins to introduce themselves to one another this question rises to the surface of conversation like cream in fresh milk…”So, what do you do?” The query is always meant to spark conversation and discover exactly what profession or job the person holds. It’s usually a non-threatening question unless you detect a tone behind it such as an overactive ego chomping at the bit to tell you “what I do” compared to “what you do”, and even if it’s meant in all sincerity, I do not like the question because I don’t enjoy comparison games or ego trips.  So, imagine that you have just asked me “What do you do?” Well, let me answer that.

Upon rising in the morning and pouring myself my first mug of coffee I head to my favorite chair and open my Bible to read, pray, listen to God and write in my journal. I guess that doing that makes me a prayer warrior.

When I leave that time with God and begin to take care of my household with the washing of laundry, cleaning up dirty dishes, sweeping floors and scrubbing toilets, I guess I’m doing tasks that are usually associated with being a wife and homemaker.  So, yes, I’m a wife. I’m a homemaker (housewife if you use an older term)

On most days you will find that I have performed some form of intentional exercise such as strength training, a walk or run outside, and in warm months bide rides through my neighborhood. Doing these types of exercise are keeping me more fit and mentally alert. I guess this qualifies me to be called an athlete (of sorts).

I attend a weekly Celebrate Recovery meeting at our church home, even serving as one of the leaders on the team. By doing so I guess you could say that I am a leader/servant.

Every week I usually care for our toddler aged granddaughter. Having this time with her, helping her to grow and mature into a responsible adult is time well spent and doing so does not cause me one ounce of concern or regret. I guess you could call me a mentor–although being called gramma has a much sweeter tone and melts my heart every time I hear it spoken. (I’ve evolved from being called Ga to Bomma to “something” that is closely resembling gramma)

To this list I would also add that I am a  daughter, sister, an in-law, a mother, a friend.  So, when I’m asked by a new acquaintance “So, what do you do?” I have to refer to the above mentioned roles that I step into each day, every week, month after month, pouring into years now that are full of routines and experiences. They are are what I do.  And honestly? I’d rather you ask me “Who are you?” rather than “What do you do?”  But, that’s another entire blog entry….oh, did I mention that I also write? I do. I guess that makes me a writer too!

To the deer and other wildlife that visit the river north of our home, the current shallow water is a welcome respite for a much needed drink or cooling down from summer’s hot sunshine. Along with the larger creatures of nature, a variety of insects can be seen as they fly in and out between the river beds, landing on grasses that are extending along the edges or from the murky water below. The banks of the river are lush with many plants and trees, many providing interesting shapes of shade dancing on the surface of the water. Yet, as refreshing as the river may appear, a closer look reveals waters that are brown, filled with silt, trapped by grass that looks like a woven web of greenery.

This was the river today as I stood on the bridge, leaning against the guardrail, drinking the cool clear water from my bottle that I carry with me when out for a run or a bike ride. Today’s run was 2.55 miles, so a brief rest at the bridge was a welcome stop amidst the beauty of a mid morning trek outside under sunny skies and a slight breeze. As I was enjoying my water, continuing to enjoy the music playing through the speaker of my phone, admiring the and absorbing the quiet of the river, imagine my delight when I noticed a lone deer standing knee deep at the water’s edge. He or she was a beautiful golden brown. Its ears were alert and deep brown eyes met mine and we began our impromptu time together. We both stood still for but a few moments and it wasn’t until I reached for my phone to snap a photo, that this lovely creature broke our stare and darted into the nearby woods.  Even though I was disappointed at missing a great photo, I was grateful for the encounter and thanked God for allowing me to see some of His creation this morning.

As I tucked my water bottle away, waited for a couple of cars to pass by me, I could not help but allow my mind to return to the thoughts about the murky brown water. To that deer it was refreshing, a much needed drink. To me, it was unpleasant to consider even sampling  its coolness or thirst quenching benefits. And, though the river is shallow right now and the muddy bed exposed, one can only ponder what lies below the mucky riverbed.

My brief “visit” at the familiar river up the road from me caused me to think about Jesus referring to Himself as Living Water. John 4:14 says “..but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him shall never thirst; but the water that I will give him will become in him a well of water springing up to eternal life.” My mind contrasted that even though the brown water of our little river is relief to nature’s creatures and not to me as a human, it still has great purpose. The Living Water that Jesus spoke about was pure, clear, vibrant–absolute perfection–enticing to animals, beneficial to man. Yet, there are those who refuse or have lived reluctantly to drink of the water that is offered by Christ. To do so indicates a heart transformation and relationship has been established. For those abiding in Christ, He has become a place of rest, an oasis that refreshes over and over again. To those living contrary to Him, His Living Water is seen as murky, unbelievable, with waves of denial and refusing to surrender to an abundance of cool thirst quenching water that far exceeds physical benefits on a hot summer’s day.

Yes, my little river up the road paints many life lessons for me. I’m grateful for my brief visit with a beautiful deer, my eye catching a dragon fly as it flew across the surface of the water, the tangle of grasses poking their blades of green above the brown water. The river has its purpose. The Living Water of Jesus has its purpose. Both give me great delight on a hot summer’s day.

“Make sure you don’t forget your homework!” Make sure you have your lunch! Make sure you watch the traffic! Make sure you wear your coat! Make sure you say please and thank you today! Make sure you’re nice to your teacher and friends! Make sure…make sure”…can you hear the echo of your mother’s voice from childhood years when she sent you out the door? It’s not that mom’s liked to bark orders (well, maybe SOME did) but giving those reminders was part of her duties to raise a child who could be a responsible adult some day.

I found another voice that said “make sure”. His name is Paul, the apostle. In his letter to the Thessalonians he wrote “Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else.” I find it interesting that he used a firm command in the beginning of this sentence…”make sure”…only to add later “always try”. What did Paul know? Did he have some previous experiences with these folks to remember how they slipped up with their behavior? Were some of them hard-headed or rebellious? I tend to think the answer is yes. Better yet, I’m pretty certain Paul knew these Christians weren’t always loving, unwilling to  always be kind, and needed reminders, just like a child going out the door requires his mom’s constant instruction. Paul–and moms–full of wisdom, having lived beyond the years of a child or a new Christian, know that “Making sure” isn’t going to happen all the time. So, because failures WILL happen Paul introduced the idea of “at least try”.

Can you hear those words echo in your mind? “Try to ride your new bike. Please. One more time. You can do it. Will you at least “try” to like John even though he bugs you? Will you “try” eating broccoli again? Will you “try” to forget what happened the last time you played with Kathy?

Unlike the “at least try” memories from childhood, Paul’s directions for “always try” go deeper than new bikes, pesty friends, and strange foods. They penetrate the very core of the heart. At least, for me, this is true. These two simple words–“always try”–are really quite an unattainable goal for me, even on my best days.

Paul’s guidance? “Always try” to be kind to everyone. Notice, it’s not only those people you get along with, but um….everyone. Everyone. Did you hear it? Did it click yet in your brain? In case you missed it let me say it again–everyone. Did I hear an ouch?

I don’t know who your “everyone” is that affects your ability to exercise kindness and love. However, I do know my own and must confess I’ve got some “making sure” and “always trying” to do every day. At the end of each day– and more importantly at the end of my life– when I meet Jesus to face-to-face– I want to hear His voice…the echo of His loving affirmation with a simple yet profound “well done” My faithful one. When you were unable to “make sure” you “always tried”.

I learn a lot about life from roads. I live on a paved road which makes my husband very happy when it comes to maintaining the upkeep on our vehicles. But not far from us, especially if you go north from our home, the gravel roads become the majority of travel. These are the roads I use to take long bike rides during the weeks of warm weather  stretching from May to late fall.

The bike I ride is half my age. It belonged to our kids. By no means is it  in mint  condition and while it certainly is in need of some minor repairs, it serves me well. I guess the roads are like the bike. They, too, have areas that need some maintenance but  other than some small holes, cracks and bumps, they are holding up to the variety of vehicles that use them every day.

Today, during a ride I made my way up a familiar route to add mileage to my workout. At one intersection I encountered a “road closed” sign. Well, that’s for cars I told myself and kept pedaling. As I rode along the well maintained gravel road I began to wonder why the road was closed. All appeared good to me. In fact, this particular gravel road was quite smooth. After I climbed a familiar hill my eyes saw the answer to my pondering. Where a small bridge with a culvert is constructed, a huge hole was in the center of the road. Anyone driving a vehicle and not being aware of its presence would be encountering a very unpleasant experience with the possibility of losing a tire. I, on the other hand, being on my bike navigated the blockades marking the hole with great ease.

How does today’s ride and others teach me about life? I’m constantly reminded when I encounter bumps, cracks, ruts,  or hills that my life isn’t always smooth. Knowing that though, I equip myself for situations and circumstances much like I do for a bike ride. Before leaving the house, I make sure there’s air in the tires, that my brakes are operating and no debris is in the chain or spokes of the wheels. I always wear a helmet and a bright-colored shirt. My water bottle is strapped to my waist and my cell phone is tucked away–mainly to track my workout but obviously in case of an emergency.

Most mornings I equip myself for the day by eating a good breakfast, spending time reading scripture and talking to God. Many mornings I don’t do all the talking; I allow Him to speak to me instead. I know there are a lot of areas in my character that are bumpy, cracked, maybe full of dangerous holes that only He can come along and fix. I’m good with that because my God is a good, good Father and is far more smarter and wiser than I could ever imagine. I am resting assured that He is equipping me, bringing me to maturity and teaching me to stand firm while He does the work. His work in my life gives me hope and great excitement although I realize the finished work in me will not be completed until I am welcomed to my heavenly home. As long as I don’t put up  any road blocks to the work that He needs to do in my life I am on the right path. And maybe,  I will not encounter too many big holes on the paths I choose in my day-to-day activities and decisions. If–and there is really no “if” to it….I create my own mistakes or hardships,  my prayer is that God will put up a road block to keep me protected–and that I’ll have the ability to navigate through  when the time is right and all is well.