Tag Archives: family

ARE YOU A GENEROUS GIVER?

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Subtle reminders have popped up in recent weeks that a return to school for children of all ages is around the corner. Aisles at major stores are now stocked with school supplies. This week while I was in town I saw a group of high school girls running, training for their opening season of cross country this fall no doubt. Emails prompting me to take advantage of “back-to-school” sales are filling my inbox. Memories from my own childhood years, anticipating returning to school have crossed my otherwise occupied mind with lingering summer time activities and my own anticipation of fall. 

Even though I’m still hanging on to enjoying time catching sun rays whether on the deck with a cold glass of water or going for a walk after dinner when the temp is more bearable, I’m finding myself looking ahead to the end of hot summer days that will be consumed by fall’s cooler temps. Outside plants are beginning to slow down, showing signs of distress from July’s heat. I’m waiting for berries to ripen on bushes. I’ve been following ads from local farmers so I can plan what to purchase and “put up” for winter months. It’s been a long time since I’ve had to make a list of school supplies to purchase and admittedly, I miss those years. Yet, fortunately, I’ve found new ways to still enjoy the feelings that come from new crayons, scissors, glue, binders, shoes and clothes–all those things that make up a “back-to-school” shopping list.

We’ve got four grandchildren, all school age now. Each year we help contribute to their needs–whether  with supplies or clothes. It’s fun to participate in their excitement preparing for a new school year. For the second year, our Celebrate Recovery ministry has conducted a drive for back-to-school supplies which has allowed me to purchase items to help fill tables decorated with “all the things”–crayons, glue, sticky notes, pencils, pens, paper, binders, backpacks, etc. Generosity is abundant from our small community inside and outside the church. It’s a beautiful thing to witness.  Being a generous giver is something I know that pleases God and it’s reassuring  He doesn’t measure the size of the gift, He’s concerned with the attitude of hearts. 2 Corinthians 9: 7 says “Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.”

Our small community always has needs. Staying connected with people through friendships, the workplace, church, school, and even social media allow us to be aware how each one of us can help. When a call comes from the Family Impact Center that shelves are empty, our community rises to the challenge to fill them over and over again. When hardships come to families with unexpected medical expenses, go fund me accounts are created and soon each goal is met with monetary gifts. These and more are beautiful examples of community in action!

I also believe a generous community exemplifies the principle stated in Acts 4: 32 “All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of their possessions was their own, but they shared everything they had.”

It’s wonderful to be part of a generous community. It’s heartwarming to see evidence of everything families and local businesses do to help care for the needs of folks who need a hand up. As you and I continue to enjoy everything that is provided for us, may we always be on the lookout for ways to help someone else. Struggles are real. Hardships come, sometimes with no warning. Opportunities to give and serve are always among us. May we have eyes to see, ears to hear, and hearts that respond with open hands to fill someone’s emptiness. Together, let’s be a community of “like minded” believers taking action to unite as generous people!

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WHAT’S NEXT?

Congratulations to all of our students who have completed high school and younger students who are moving from one lower grade to another! Educational years are very exciting and hopefully your children and grandchildren are embracing the opportunities placed in classrooms, labs, gymnasiums, athletic fields, and field trips to enhance their learning experiences.

With the advent and final availability of social media, it’s been enjoyable to see photos of my family and friends highlighting the “last day of school”. Looking at happy faces, reading brief comments about “growth”, reminded me of my own years spent in education. Beginning with kindergarten, I struggled attending school. After the first day, I truly thought I was finished. That second morning that mother woke me I actually told her I wasn’t going, that I had already gone. I guess in my infantile mind I saw that “first day” as something to conquer and consider it as “done”.

Yet, with the passing of each grade, learning to read, struggling with math, having science answer my curiosity about things, art projects that allowed me to be creative…school began to be great, fun as I made new friends, especially in junior high when I had more than one teacher, all of whom prepared me for my final years in high school where I discovered vocal music and journalism when I joined the yearbook staff.

Looking back, life was pretty easy from kindergarten to twelfth grade. I wasn’t at the top of my class by any means, but being in the above average group gave me a lot of confidence and good preparation for “life after graduation”. My only true struggle was answering the all familiar question we ask our graduates–”what’s next?”

Honestly, as I sat in my commencement on a hot Sunday afternoon in June of 1971, I didn’t know the answer to that question. My parents were wonderful supporters and providers for all my needs, but we never had conversations about my future plans beyond high school. Many of my classmates headed to colleges, others joined the military, and numerous guys went directly to one of three automobile related plants in Saginaw. I woke up the morning after commencement and felt very empty. What now?

Thankfully, my best friend had an idea what she wanted to do–attend a local business school. She asked me to go with her and after a lot of convincing on my part with my dad, he agreed to pay the tuition for my nine month course of study, which doesn’t seem like a lot but I learned basic skills needed in order to work in the clerical field. When I completed my studies there–Saginaw Business Institute–I was fortunate to secure a position with First State Bank of Saginaw and my young adult life was launched!

Today, I ask myself if I would change anything about my decisions made post high school. Certainly, there are some things I would consider as a “do over”. I would have worked harder academically. I would have attempted to crush proscrastionation’s effects it takes in life. I would have learned why “people pleasing” can lead to merely going “along with the crowd” rather than finding confidence in God’s truths on a variety of issues one faces when growing and maturing.

Yes, I love seeing all our youth in their graduation photos. And I enjoy hearing about future plans–whether it will be college locally or off somewhere far from home. I hope, too, that our young men and women will discover and investigate the value of learning a trade….taking time to fall in love and marry a good person who shares values and ethics of life. I also hope our young folks will value serving others in the community where they settle. As one who struggled a bit in school and life, I’d encourage our young graduates to continue pursuing knowledge, understanding, wisdom … .by traveling to places…meeting people from another culture…creating friendships with young and old alike.  No matter the age, we all have life experiences and stories that are sometimes more exciting than textbooks or other media sources!

So now, the “next” morning after commencement for our graduates has come and gone. “What’s next?” For those of us who have already lived through that question when we were 17 or 18, let’s help our youngsters find their answer by coming alongside them as continuing teachers and mentors!

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds… (Hebrews 10: 24) 

ALL GOOD THINGS COME TO AN END

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“Taking a break was refreshing, but I’m back and ready to shine”. (Unknown source)

Does time fly? Can we go back in time? Is there anything new under the sun?

Interesting concepts to ponder, aren’t they?

At the end of March I temporarily said “goodbye” to my normal schedule that is created from obligations–primarily in a couple of roles at my church home–along with bidding my readers, those here in the News as well as my personal blog and social media, an announcement that I needed a sabbatical. Looking back, March’s date seems to be a very far past point in my life. Now, in the midst of mid-May, I’m re-entering so to speak, all that was very routine for me day-to-day, week to week. 

Does time fly? Yes, it does. Can we go back in time? No. To do so physically is impossible, however, memories from our past live on in our minds and hearts, especially when returning “home”.

When I planned my sabbatical I made a list of personal goals that I hoped to cross off my bucket list. I will write about them in the future and share experiences that have become part of fond memories. Some of my goals were to get away alone for a few days, rejuvenate my relationship with God, spend time with some relatives who live near the area I traveled to, get outside on hiking trails, meet new people. I even chose the exact date I would travel north to spend time alone in a beautiful home offered by the generosity of very dear friends. But, another goal I had listed was to have God interrupt me on the path laid out for me, to encounter what I like to refer to as “divine appointments”.

I didn’t leave on the day I had originally planned. My departure was delayed when I learned that my dear cousin Willie was hospitalized in Saginaw, my home city. Each text I received from his family informed me of his serious condition, his body fighting a fierce infection. On Tuesday, April 8 I made the drive alone to Saginaw to visit and possibly say my “goodbye”. Since I knew the day would be mine alone to choose any activities, upon my arrival in Saginaw I drove to my childhood home. The neighborhood was quiet, no traffic or people in yards. I parked my car and sat for a few minutes, taking in the changes that have been made to the house my dad built in the mid 50s, noting some need for repairs, wondering about the current owners. From there I drove down the street to my elementary school that shares a large parcel of land with a city recreation area. A fence stands now around the kindergarten wing of the school; huge swing sets that were under tall shade trees in the rec area are gone. There’s no evidence of many summers playing games, swinging, or forming a competition of four square on the pavement. I left the area feeling sad.

On familiar streets that took me to Covenant Hospital, I saw many businesses that had closed or became home to different retail offerings. Once grand homes along Michigan Avenue were faded, run down, or boarded up. I couldn’t help but recall the beauty of these homes every time we drove by on our way to a favorite library, church on  Sunday, taking dad to work or picking him up when mother needed the car.

I arrived at the hospital late morning. Willie was non responsive except for occasional moments he opened his eyes. A daughter in law was with him and this was my first time meeting her. More of describing my time with Ursula can come another time.

In short, Willie died on Good Friday. I can’t think of a better time to depart earthly life in exchange for eternity with God. I waited over the Easter weekend to learn of funeral arrangements and when they became known, I was able to leave for northern Michigan the following Wednesday.

“Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.” (Proverbs 19: 21)

I don’t know if my original plans for driving north would have given me different experiences or not. This is what I do know, that by surrendering my schedule to God, being open and flexible to accept interruptions along the way of everyday life, I was given precious memories, glorious opportunities to experience embracing  recollections from the past, and in the midst of saying goodbye to a loved one, I found peace, joy, and hope.

I arrived in Saginaw under a blanket of sadness, but when I left to return home, after spending time soaking in old memories and meeting new family members, I came back with a heart full of gratitude.

LIVING ROOM SOCIAL MEDIA

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Ah, the blessings and curses that come with social media.

When Facebook surged above all other social media platforms, I joined a myriad of friends and family making use of this communication tool. I quickly connected with friends who live in different geographic locations…families spread out across Michigan and beyond to the west coast … .close friends…highschool classmates…individuals and groups that feed into my personal goals for understanding of scripture and ministry where I serve. The past years belonging to Facebook, and now Instagram along with X, have been heartwarming, intriguing, plus an occasional wringing of hands in frustration.

Reflecting on my experiences with social media, I could not help but remember Sunday afternoon visits with my grandparents. Following a delicious dinner, it never failed that I ran back and forth between the living room from playing outside, my grandpa seated among dad and his brothers, along with brothers-in-law were, discussing current events. My memories are totally foggy and I certainly don’t have recall for those conversations other than to remember they were quite lively, but never critical or mean spirited. Sources of topics were what they heard on the evening news, newspapers, radio, and magazines.

On one such visit, our family was the first to arrive on a Sunday and when we walked in the door my grandpa jumped up excitedly, waving an issue of Time magazine in my dad’s face, declaring “Jack, do you know what them Roo-sians are up to?” “Read this, Jack!” Before dad could react or respond, Gramp told dad word for word what was contained in the article.

Going back to my uncles. Within their career circle were two engineers, a car salesman, a laborer for General Motors, a self employed building contractor,  a minister and a colonel in the United States Air Force. My dad was employed in the building inspection department for the City of Saginaw in the 60s, the years of many family dinners and living room conversations. Grandpa’s working years spanned farming, logging, and in his later years, some small machine work. My Jewell “guys” certainly represented a variety of work skills which included a strong foundation of integrity. 

IF they had strong disagreements when discussing America’s woes in the 60s, it never was evident to me. What I heard and observed was a group of siblings having lively conversations. When I really leaned in to what they were talking about, I was happy to sit and listen when many “yarns” or stories from childhood dominated their lively banter,  many of which were repeated year after year and are now beloved memories from my childhood.

So, social media. As I’ve been a part of my “friendship circle” the posts have often gone from family photos or highlighted vacation moments to discussions of current matters in America. Admittedly, I have joined in all of these topics but having done so has not always been beneficial.

My observations boil down to things for me. One, there’s a lot of courage behind a keyboard evidenced by some very mean spirited posts. Secondly, I’m convinced social media is never going to serve as a beneficial or uplifting platform to discuss “hot topics”. Certainly, I enjoy reading a variety of opinions, while struggling with motives behind “jabs” or “disrespectful” words. Once again, of my own admission, I often got sucked into a “ping pong match of wits” with those who think differently than myself. Not anymore.

I made a conscious decision to keep my social media focused on family photos, special moments we’ve enjoyed as a family, connecting with family and friends, sharing encouragement from “my” source of all that is good–scripture.

My Jewell guys never solved any of America’s problems in the 60s. At most, they accomplished hearing the viewpoints of each other. No one ever left angry or “unfriended” one another. 

Yes, social media is now an outlet that illustrates our human nature ranging in behaviors from elation to anger. Missing is the ability to “hear” a tone of voice behind typed words, or the “heart” behind comments. Missing is the beauty of face-to-face conversations which allow differing angles to meet over closely held passions and stances without resulting in being cut off.

I can’t imagine any of my dad’s sibling relationships being severed due to thinking as an individual. In my grandparents’ small living room, in that small close knit circle of the Jewell men, there was love, acceptance, and always yielding to differing opinions.

I think those of us who use social media could learn a lesson or two from a circle of loving and goofy brothers. Who, when finished bantering away the afternoon, went out to the kitchen for another slab of pie or outside for a rousing game of horseshoes, brothers against brothers in fair play and healthy competition.

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. (Ephesians 4: 29) 

GENTLENESS OUTWEIGHS ANGER

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Last week I wrote about the necessity of having a strong foundation when building a home and paralleled that process to creating a healthy life for ourselves. As a woman who grew up with a dad who had built our family home, who knew how to properly construct a foundation, then erect walls and roof trusses, I gained proper perspective on the importance of having a blueprint, the right tools, and the knowledge how to follow every step in the building process. By not running ahead of any one of the building’s necessary processes or taking shortcuts, arriving at its final completion date is being able to say a “job well done” and “worth the blood, sweat and tears”.

As mentioned, my dad built our family home which was completed in 1954. With his skills the only work he outsourced was the electrical and plumbing as well as the fireplace in the living room. When I was old enough to understand, I remember dad telling me how the mason who came to lay the fireplace bricks had clearly enjoyed a few drinks too many….yet, with a watchful eye my dad watched to make sure the mason’s level actually read correctly and that each row was put in place with required precision. I often wonder why dad didn’t ask the contracted mason to return when he had full capacity of his mental processes; perhaps my dad’s gentle spirit and reluctance to confront uncomfortable situations prevailed over what others may see as pure logic to resolve a tense situation.

In the 70’s my folks purchased land in the Rose City area and built a small cabin. This structure had a crawl space and when the local building inspector came to observe dad’s progress, he instructed that a rat wall had to be part of the crawl space walls. I’ll never forget my dad’s laughter every time he repeated details about the inspector’s visit. Dad knew the Uniform Building Codes inside and out. He used them every day in his career and even taught them at college level to architects and builders. He knew that his small rural cabin didn’t need a rat wall because rats are typically a city problem, not one in small communities. But, rather than argue, he complied with the request as deep down he knew it didn’t affect the final outcome of our cabin’s foundation and ultimate completion.

In the 80’s our family home needed to be reroofed. By that time my brothers and husband were able to help dad. Although dad was in his 60s, he amazed us with an agility to go up and down a ladder to supervise and lay down new shingles. A couple of family friends came to help; they had years of experience with all tools, but also had the same accumulation when it came to enjoying a cold beer. During one of the work days, on a particularly hot afternoon working on the roof, one of the fellas was showing obvious signs of having over indulged to quench his thirst. Shingles need to line up correctly in order for the entire project to be perfect. Dad observed a slight decline taking place with a row of shingles. In order to save the project, but not use a direct approach, he chose to “shut down the day’s work due to the sun’s heat”. Once again, his gentle nature took precedence rather than confronting our friends “one too many beers”.

One might ask, why didn’t your dad just go ahead and be bold to correct a mason, an inspector, and a family friend in the errors of their ways? My answer is gentleness. I think my dad showed me that sometimes much is accomplished when gentleness is given rather than a harsh response. In fact, in Romans 15:1 it says “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger”.  O, how many arguments or tense situations could be avoided if this admonishment was actually put in place in our conversations and actions with family and friends!

My challenge to myself and you is to consider using the gift of gentleness to diffuse an uncomfortable situation or request a change in behavior from a loved one. That we can remember a soft approach and words of kindness laced with encouragement go a long way to creating healthy relationships. We can endeavor to achieve what is written in 1 Thessalonians 5: 11 “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing”. 

One last favorite memory of my dad’s gentle spirit. While serving in the U.S. Navy, whenever his ship was in port with short leave granted, dad told me each sailor sometimes received two cans of beer and a pack of cigarettes. Dad always gave one beer away as well as the cigarettes. On one occasion, a fellow shipmate asked “Jewell, how come you don’t smoke?”

“Because my mother asked me not to….” I can hear Grandma Jewell’s sweet voice making this simple request to her son as he became a young man and went off to serve in World War II, leaving behind farm life and facing many different new challenges. I like to believe that her steadfastness to remain kind, gentle, always parenting with huge doses of love and hugs, made my dad into the man he became so that in turn I could learn those same traits.

GOOD & PERFECT GIFTS

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Here we are in mid November, actually closing in with December’s arrival in a matter of days following our national holiday Thanksgiving. Holidays can trigger all kinds of emotions, not all of them warm and fuzzy. Some of us grew up in families that looked forward to being together around a festive table laden with delicious food, bantering conversations…all the things that create fond memories. Sadly, some of us grew up in homes that were full of dysfunction, brokenness, arguing…angry families unwilling to reconcile relationships. If you fall into one of those two categories, I am happy for your good memories. If the latter describes your childhood, I am truly sorry. The good news is this–merely because your childhood home was one of bad memories doesn’t mean you need to continue on that path.

My Grandpa Jewell was an angry man for the first 55 years of his life. While I can understand some of his reasons for his anger, it’s also an example of not allowing circumstances to be made into an “excuse” and setting a course for all of life ahead. Though the details are blurry for me,  I was told that when he and grandma married, returned from their honeymoon, their meager belongings were packed, placed on the porch of the Jewell family home that he expected to inherit, accompanied by the declaration that “the farm is being given to your sister Clara and her husband”. In the time it took to even breathe during that conversation, their entire future looked bleak. Can I blame my grandfather for becoming angry and embittered? 

Grandpa’s resentments, anger, and bitterness were woven into over 30 years of moving from several places in Michigan, farming, working for others and even trying his hand at owning a small business which failed miserably. In those 30 years 11 children came along. Older ones married. The boys enlisted in armed forces which took several off to war battles around the world. In the meantime grandma was steadfast in her faith, persevering in prayer for provision and salvation for her husband. 

God always provided somehow. What He did for her He will do for you and me, too. There always seemed to be “just enough” food and salvation came to grandpa when he was 55 years old.

Thanksgiving is the first opportunity in the holiday season where generosity becomes front and center in peoples’ minds. We begin to look for ways we can help someone less fortunate enjoy all that Thanksgiving and Christmas entail. In today’s current economy, sadly there are many families in need. We don’t need to look very far to find who we can help. Families and individuals are in our neighborhood, workplace, church, on your kids’ sports teams, their classrooms…all which we call community.

I’m thankful we have organizations in our community that help families. I’m grateful for the generosity I see in my own church family as we come alongside families struggling to make ends meet. These loving actions remind me of those times my parents willingly helped deliver Thanksgiving meals to families in the neighborhood that surrounded our church in Downtown Saginaw. I also recall an older memory, being told that a neighbor told my grandpa about free food he could get that was provided by the federal government. His stubborn pride kept him from going to the location that housed the goods and when he DID bring canned foods home,  he insisted they be kept in the pantry for awhile, as though opening the “first” one meant he had “lost” his will to be the main provider for hungry bellies.

As I said, I don’t know where Thanksgiving this year finds you. If you are well provided for with no worries, give thanks to the One Who has been generous towards you. If you are struggling and God sends someone asking if you need help, lay down fear or pride, and accept the generosity of others.

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” (James 1:17)

Yes, God is the provider of ALL. He makes generosity possible through organizations, churches, individuals, food pantries … .may your Thanksgiving Day be one of bounty, fond memories, and opportunities to mend any brokenness in relationships.